20 Oct 2016

Sprint finish

Each time we Burlicious Three get together for choreography we up the design ante a bit and so our current routine is a complex creation. It looks great, but there’s no denying that there are a lot of little moves to learn and remember and b*gger all repetition in the chorus that you can rely on.

Last night we had the bit firmly between our teeth and were cantering the troupe to a pre-holiday close, determined to get to the end of the routine before we shut away our sequins for the half term break.

This breakneck speed, together with the complexity of the routine, made for some rather ramshackle teaching at times. Trust me, showgirls, by the time I was talking you through the last few steps, I couldn’t work out which leg should be doing what.

It also made for some brilliantly disjointed glove twirling and a level of individuality in the “step, tap” part that had to be marvelled at. As we were explaining to the troupe how difficult we had found it to mistress one part of the routine (and remember that we designed the thing), one of our showgirls asked: “and didn’t that tell you anything?”

And, of course, it didn’t. You see, when there are three of us designing a tricky bit, there’s usually one who finds it a breeze, one who gets it after a bit, and a third who can’t get it at all and who jumps up and down in frustration, swearing like a trooper, whenever we get to that particular part. However, it does mean that we've learned that, with repetition, we can all get all of it. 

In comparison to us, ladies, you’re very well-mannered and patient. And, like us, we know that you'll breeze through it next time... which encourages us to design better and better routines. You see, you brought it on yourselves! :-)

Yours, with a bit of practice to do before we meet again,

Burlicious x

13 Oct 2016

Wait for it...

Our current sly wink of a routine is sprinkled with penis jokes. Please do not switch off in disgust - we promise you that it sounds much worse than it is.

As part of this sprinkling we have a couple of witticisms about the size of, er, male tackle. Don't worry, chaps, it's all done in the best possible taste and no, we repeat what you've doubtless been told before, size isn't everything. Then we have a swift boa erection at the groin, punctuated by a very definite beat in the music.

We tried that for the first time last night and had a positive Mexican wave of boas leaping up at the groin at different times as our showgirls varied between premature excitement, late rising, and - for the most quiveringly uncertain - a halting up down up down movement. Boa erections went off independently all over the shop like jumping beans on a hotplate. We couldn't have choreographed the effect if we had tried.

All together now: "... as long as he keeps himself in shape... da da da da da UP!"

Next week, ladies, it'll be hands on yer ha'penny (in the immortal words of one showgirl) as we roar deliciously through the end of the routine.

Yours, loving the individuality,

Burlicious x

6 Oct 2016

Working up a lather

We swept the floor with ourselves and our boa.

We kicked up our little heels deliciously as we languished on our belly.

We trotted our fingers temptingly down our shin as we leant over and peeked at the audience.

And we assiduously avoided what will now be known as "sad dangle" between the legs.

No mean feat, that.

Good work, showgirls. And da da da da da da-da-da-da BOFF!

Yours, slaves to our art,

Burlicious x




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