Showgirl overspill

No, not quite what you're thinking. I'm referring to the "brain so full that the legs and arms forget what they're doing" syndrome that is striking some of us at the moment.

Trying to coordinate a glove drop whilst choreographing last week, we agreed that each of us would say "drop" as we drop the glove so that the next showgirl in line would know precisely when to release her own glove. Simple. Except that, when it came to it, my brain was so full of "loosen glove, turn, remove glove, hold, then turn, stroke glove, hold it... and drop it NOW!" that I didn't have any bandwidth left in my head to say the word "drop" at the same time.

"I thought we were going to say "drop"?" says the Sparkly Bra Pixie afterwards. Yes, I did too. What I hadn't realised is that I wouldn't actually be able to form and then utter the word!

Similarly, while in rehearsal last night, I saw something I wanted to correct. I was so busy remembering it that I then hip bumped the wrong way, straight into the oncoming hip of the Voluptuous Jules. Astonished, we hung onto each other, and I could see that she was thinking: "Crap. I've gone wrong" and that all thought of the next move had now escaped her.

That and the pile up we had at Burlicious Towers when the Sparkly Bra Pixie and I trotted smartly to the right and almost ran down the Voluptuous Jules who had frozen to a halt in our path, tells me that we've still got it when it comes to our creativity at b*ggering up a perfectly nice routine in new and surprising ways.

Yours, showgirls of mystery and infinite variety,

Burlicious x

Sisters, sisters...

Well, using all the modern tools at our disposal (tape measure; old rope; chairs) we have mapped out in our dance hall the shape of the stage that we'll next be performing on. It's the showgirl equivalent of having a couple of piled up pullovers on the grass of a beaten-up playing field and pretending that they're goalposts.

February's stage is not without its challenges and constraints. The only way that we can get all our showgirls on to our mock up stage and visible to the audience is to dance very close to one another.

Like, veeeeery close.

We have positioned behind the three of us a line of three showgirls with noticeably superior leg length to our own. The net result of this is that, when we are all bent over, rear end to the audience, our faces are nestled cosily in between a line of buttocks. And if all three of us fling out our arms fully when facing front, we're in danger of clipping each other soundly around the ear.

It made me think of that old Hollywood number "Sisters, sisters", but a comedy version where we vie for stage space and swat each other out of the way with our boa and the odd backhander. I tell you, our peripheral vision is having to work overtime!

On the other hand, having all those yummy showgirls dancing in that intimate little space, all "up close and personal", looks bloomin' delicious, it really does.

Yours, wedged into lusciousness,

Burlicious x

When fun is sexy

There seems to be a growing assumption out there that, if you're female, the more flesh you show, the sexier you are. Girls are pressurised to show more and more as current female role models wear less and less.

We think that this is a tad simplistic.

As you know, we choose to keep our kit on when we dance. We've seen great burlesque performers of all shapes and sizes who strip down to a few sequins and who look bloomin' brilliant. That's not what we do.

Our current routine isn't overtly sexy. It's a romp of a thing. It's a cheeky, double entendre, grown up giggle. It's what, in the excitement of the moment last night, I nearly christened a "wudge wudge, nink nink" little number. As an appreciative audience member once said to me: "You look like you're having the time of your life. It's as if you're sharing an inside joke with the audience." She was spot on.

And, do you know what? That "happy with myself", fun, confident appearance is fabulously, effortlessly sexy. So, showgirls, head up, shoulders back, strutting feet on, and let's invite our Valentine's Night audience to enjoy a mischievous titter with us.

Yours, winking and wiggling,

Burlicious x

A pleasing jiggle

Back to class last night and straight into rehearsals. We've just a few weeks in which to tighten up a routine we danced recently and to refresh another that we haven't danced for a while. Patiently, our showgirls went over and over the beginning of "When you're good to Mama", and already it's coming together.

We love the fact that, even tho' we're pretty focussed at the moment, there is still room for laughter. The "lean-over-with-bum-to-the-audience-and-shimmy" has progressed nicely from having twenty two heels clattering on the floor like a frenzy of free-range castanets to being a much more contained little number. Moreover, we're now avoiding bending so far forward that the audience would be able to see our astonished little faces upside down through our wide open legs. That's class, that is.

All this and the bonus of seeing the pearly white bosoooom of the voluptuous Jules jiggling like a firm blancmange as she trots briskly onto the stage for the opening moves suggests to us that we'll be a proper feast for the eyes.

We love getting you ready to show off in public, showgirls, we really do!

Yours, excited already,

Burlicious x

Gird yer garters, gorgeousness is about to return!

Just a reminder, showgirls, that class starts again on Weds 7th January. Cinch those Christmas curves into a corset and come and clip about charmingly in heels with us.

Alternatively, turn up in your track suit bottoms, if that's all that currently fits, and come and shimmy about with us - we can make use of every inch!

Over the next few weeks we'll use our class time to prepare for the Valentine's Night show. Here's the deal:

• Appearing in the show is absolutely 100% voluntary. No obligation. No expectation. No pressure. Honest
• If you don't fancy being in the show, do still come to class - we love seeing you and don't want you to feel excluded
• We'll be dancing "Mama" in January. Downside - there'll be no new routine until late Feb. Upside - you'll know Mama sooooo well by 14th Feb that you'll be able to camp it up to the max and really enjoy yourself every time you dance it
• Outside our normal class, we'll also rehearse "Nasty Naughty Boy" with those who already know it. If you fancy performing that at the show, let us know!

It may be cold outside, showgirls, but we'll give you back your glow!

Yours, gearing up for glamour,

Burlicious x