7 Feb 2019

A new move a day keeps the doctor away

The body is a mysterious thing. It's particularly puzzling when you ask it to do something new.

It's fair to say that, in our day-to-day life, there isn't much call for what we Burlicious three refer to as "tit rotations". This is not the twirling with tassels of the stripping burlesque performer. This is a drawing of a horizontal circle with the ribs - front, side, back, side - with the tits perkily leading the way, with emphasis in one particular direction to the beat, and with the lower half of the body still.

Coming to grips with it is a hilarious process.

Looking around the troupe as it test drove this move initially last night, there were showgirls with jaws and chin unconsciously following the same circular motion as the chest; showgirls staring  down in utter concentration and perplexity at their own tits, wondering how to get them started; showgirls lurching dangerously from side to side... and behind them all was the Voluptuous Jules, whose own marvellous bazoom punched emphatic circles all by itself as if the rest of her body were not involved.

An utter delight, Dear Reader, an utter delight.

And this was before we got down on all fours for the "low shoulders arse waggle" - oh yes.

Still, they say that new stuff is good for the brain!

Yours, positively brimming with mental sharpness,

Burlicious x

31 Jan 2019

Engage brain, flap feet

It is a key part of the Burlicious philosophy that nobody, but nobody, who comes to our class should ever feel judged. There are plenty of opportunities in the rest of life to feel inadequate, a bit rubbish, not up to some sort of impossible-to-achieve ideal - and we don't want an hour spent with Burlicious to be one of them. It's key to who we are and what we are doing that our lovely showgirls should feel good and enjoy themselves when they are dancing with us.

That's why it is so deliciously, ineffably, liberatingly joyous when it is one of we Burlicious three who b*ggers up the routine. Last night it was me. In all fairness, of the three of us, it is always more likely than not that it will be me.

It's a simple move. Sit at the side of the chair. Draw feet off floor - knees bent, heels near derriere. Straighten right leg to the ceiling, then left, then right... ideally in time with the slow, deliberate beats of the music. Then swivel on one's derriere to the left side of the chair, knees still in and feet still off floor, straightening the legs up as you go - left, right, left, right.... FAST. In an ideal world, one then arrives at the opposite side of the chair, right leg up, ready to lower it slowly to the floor.

Unless you really can't catch the first beat accurately. And I couldn't. I just couldn't. So my legs were flapping up and down all over the place to their very own beat.

I started late. I started early. Sometimes I started precisely on time... but I didn't really know how I had done it. And, yes, it's a tad frustrating. But more than that, it is genuinely hilarious to be so foxed by something so simple, over and over, and to be royally b*ggering it up in front of a troupe of women who laugh with you and not at you.

I do love you, showgirls. I love it that you are so accepting when I say: "don't follow me on this bit. I don't know what I'm doing." It's such a good place to be and it's making me smile as I type this.

Yours, thinking very firmly "DA DA DA da da da DA da da...",

Burlicious x

27 Jan 2019

New term, new routine, same gentle hilarity

Darlings, after a slow start to the year, we are finally launched on a new term and a cracking new routine. 

Fear not, those of you who missed this rapturous launch last week. We're only one week in and you know what it's like at the start - there is still plenty of time for you to catch up. Which is just as well... because we Burlicious Three have yet to finish designing the thing! :-)

We took a pragmatic decision to launch the first two thirds of this routine while the final third is still brewing in the choreography lab. It's fair to say that we Burlicious Three only just learned the first two thirds by the skin of our teeth before appearing in class to show it to the troupe. Add to that the fact that a smattering of injuries between us means that we can't all do all the moves at the moment, and you can understand why we are not exactly performing at an intimidating level of perfection....ha ha!

Still, the new routine is fun. And it looks fantastic with a troupe doing the first marionette-style piece in clockwork crispness.

It's good to be back in harness, showgirls. Corset on, gloves unrolled, pick up those heels and smile!

Yours, delighting in the daftness,

Burlicious x

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