1 Mar 2018

When you're strokin' Mama...

Snow stopped play this week (boo!) so we're all behind... so to speak.

This means that we have the current routine to complete on 7th March and then we plan to start a new routine the following week, Wednesday 14th March.

We'll be relaunching our cheeky, perky routine to the double entendre-laden  number "When you're good to Mama". It's a feelgood, nod and a wink, 'ow's yer father of a thing, and it makes us smile like loons.

So, as we always say, if you've been teetering up to coming along to play with us for the first time, now is the best time to give it a go as you will be learning a routine from its very beginning.

If you are one of our current showgirls and you've missed a few classes, and so you've been stuck at home, staring morosely at your stash of boas and corsets and muttering that you'll never catch up (of course you would, ya daft baggage, but we do understand the reluctance that some of you feel :-) ), it's time to lace up and come back to us, honey.

One way or the other, we hope to see you soon for a bit of Chicago shimmying.

Yours, planning our jailer chic,

Burlicious x

24 Feb 2018

The perils of a wilful wardrobe

Honestly, we really are quite good at what we do. However, you wouldn't necessarily know that from observing us in class.

This week's class was a clothes calamity, an outfits outtake, and boa bedlam.

In quick succession we had the Sparkly Bra Pixie's corset striking out for independence, leaving her standing astonished in just her bra and knickers. Then the Voluptuous Jules caught her heel in the bow of the other shoe's lace and nearly head butted the rear wall of our dance space as she struggled to free herself. Boas stuck to gloves and refused to drop silkily to the floor. Gloves dangled unhelpfully from the gusset area, looking like extraordinary surgical additions. Knickers twirled inventively around nether regions and had to be rescued inelegantly.

It was a hoot.

On a chilly night an hour of this knockabout nonsense takes one's mind completely away from the week to date and the week to come.

And the dancing's pretty good too! No, really, it is. The troupe is doing us proud.

Yours, a walking, strutting comedy in heels,

Burlicious x

14 Feb 2018

Time off for bad behaviour

No class tonight, you sexy slinksters and seductive strutters. We're off for a little Valentine's Delight.

There's nothing to stop you from wearing the outfit, though, if that's what takes your fancy!

See you next week, Wednesday 21st February, for more delicious Burlicious.

Yours, with hearts and hugs,

Burlicious x

4 Feb 2018

Burlesque for the bewildered

There is a delicious, informal, knock-about quality to our classes. It's fair to say that the task of learning the routine is sometimes made a little bit more challenging for our showgirls by the fact that, as we're dancing, it's not unknown for me to forget entirely what I'm doing.

Distracted by a piece of feedback that I want to give; or by pondering to myself how big a chunk of routine we might mistress before the class ends; or entertaining a wistful thought about it being time for a little smackerel of something; I lose track of where we're up to as we dance and sort of gently peter out.

This has a predictable ripple effect in the rows of showgirls behind me.

Like a busload of the elderly bewildered, we wind down slowly, each doing something slightly different as we go gently astray, with just the Sparkly Bra Pixie at the very back of the class sticking to the original script and wondering why she is the only one to do so.

It's entropy in action. And it's very funny.

Soon we'll be employing carers to get us back on the straight and narrow and to help us dress ourselves again after we have thrown off our evening gloves and boa. Me, I blame the feathers. I think they're filling up my head with brightly-coloured nonsense and crowding out the dance steps.

Yours, a sequin-clad walking liability,

Burlicious x

25 Jan 2018

A new member

We do love the start of a new dance routine as the class swells again with those who have missed classes and who want to come back at the very beginning of a routine. It's also the perfect opportunity for women who have never come to class before to come and see what we're like. Welcome, and welcome back, all of you. We love having you with us.

Demonstrating the routine last night for the first time, I made an unscripted addition of my own. Having removed a long, pink evening glove I managed while sliding it seductively (well, that was the intention) down my body, to attach it firmly to a sparkly bit on the front of my drawers.

And there it stayed.

Picture the scene, Dear Reader - black knickers, black tights and a long pink glove attached to the front of me just about exactly where one would attach a new male member if that was a body enhancement that appealed.

The sight was made marginally more hilarious, if that were possible, by me slinging my leg over the chair seat, straddling the chair with my back to the audience, and my new pink addition peaking out slyly between my legs under my bum.

Of course, I shall pretend that this was a deliberate ploy to make our new showgirls feel instantly at ease and not intimidated by our innate perfection and professionalism. However, I am secretly delighted to confess that this sort of c*ck up is not unusual for Burlicious, which is why it is such a giggle.

Yours, grinning at the memory,

Burlicious x

18 Jan 2018

Off with the old, on with the new

A triumphant (if a little hasty) close to our current routine last night as we whipped our troupe through the complete number for the last time. Not one of them has been able to be there for every class, so there was a good smattering of: "oooh, I don't know this bit" as we cantered gamely along. Add to this the fact that, for some of the routine anyway, there are three distinct roles and three different sets of steps, and it all made for a rather varied interpretation of the original.

A highlight for the evening was the astonished look on the face of a couple of showgirls who had never before seen the "rolling around on the floor gusset flash" move. "Boggled" would be a fair description.

As special was the confession by one showgirl that, when I accidentally attached my sequinned front to my fishnetted thigh, thus preventing me from straightening back up, she gamely stayed bent over her own leg, assuming that this was just a part of the routine that she had forgotten.

We do adore the sometimes chaotic nature of what we do.

A new routine starts next Wednesday, 24th January, showgirls. We've taken an old favourite and given it a substantial overhaul. We're rather chuffed with it, we must say. So, if you're coming back to class or if you want to give us a go for the first time, next Wednesday is a perfect opportunity to be in at the very start of a routine.

Yours, gusset flashing with the best of 'em,

Burlicious x

11 Jan 2018

More than just waggling

It is sometimes forgotten that a Burlicious class can be a mental workout as well as physical exercise.

Don't get us wrong - our routines aren't difficult. They're designed to be eminently learnable by women who are not dance professionals, and we invest a sensible amount of time in class in repetition until we think that the troupe has got it. However, because none of us does this stuff for a living, there's no denying that it can mess with the head a bit firstly to learn a routine, and then to reorient it.

What do we mean by "reorienting"? well, when we think the troupe has mistressed a section of a dance, we then get them to dance it facing in a different direction - to the back of the hall; to the side; in a circle facing each other, and so on.

The suggestion that we do this is always met with groans and then with hilarity when we give it a go. Usually at least one or two of the troupe (and by no means the same ones every time) will be confidently heading off in exactly the wrong direction at some point and then coming to a bewildered halt. It's amazing just how challenging it can be to take familiar steps and then dance them in a different direction.

So you see, we're a training session for mental agility and spatial awareness as well as being some of the best fun that you can have in yer drawers away from your own home.

It's not just tits and arse, you know. :-)

Yours, brain surgeons in stilettos,

Burlicious x

PS: We still adore this pic from Katy Paige-Mclean Photography of some of the troupe heading onstage :-) 

2 Jan 2018

Come and strut your delicious stuff with Burlicious...

... all of it. Including any newly acquired Christmas curves.

In all seriousness, Showgirls, where else are you going to feel so comfortable and unjudged in your sexy smalls and your daft little outfits at this time of year?

You know that we know that you're all gorgeous. Don't hide away, fretting about an extra couple of pounds and thinking that you need to stay out of the public eye and live on celery until you're a size zero. Come and play with us and have a laugh instead.

We promise you'll leave class feeling better.

Next class is Wednesday 10th January. Hope to see you there.

Yours, celebrating the female form in all its variety,

Burlicious x




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