Musing last night at class about our forthcoming performance in a Christmas Variety Show, it struck us that we have specialised in performing for audiences who, ahem, have had a bit to drink before we go on.
Now, before you conjure up pictures of us on stage behind chain-link security netting, with crazed punters chucking beer bottles at us and baying for blood, we don't want to give the wrong impression.
Yes, our lovely audience at the French-themed evening did get more and more rosy-cheeked and vocally appreciative as the night wore on. Yes, members of the audience at our first charity do did stagger up to us afterwards, half-empty wine bottles tucked firmly under the arm, to insist that they wanted to join our class. Yes, the audience at the End of the Pier Show was comfortably pickled by the time we graced the stage (very generous glasses of wine were being doled out at the makeshift bar). And, yes, guests at various birthday parties, hen parties and restaurants where we have danced have all downed their first drink or two before we don our boas to trip the light fantastic for them.
However, we like to think of it this way. We're typically asked to dance at events where people are getting together to have a good time and to celebrate something. Often, those celebratory events include alcohol.
There is no link between our presence and the tipsiness of the crowd. None whatsoever.
Honest.
We're just bringing a little extra sparkle to the occasion.
So, our Christmas Variety performance in front of a (we think) more than usually sober crowd is just another opportunity for us to illuminate an evening. Sequins for Santa, if you like. And what could be nicer than that?
Yours, off to the bar,
Burlicious x
From this unlovely base we launched a fantastic performance, if we say so ourselves. Afterwards, three separate women told us they would not have the confidence to do what we had done; another wanted to sign up there and then; and one gent was keen to open negotiations to buy us.
Here's what you need to know, showgirls - you're looking very fine and so is the routine. It is genuinely a pleasure to see what you have achieved in just a few hours' work spread over a few weeks. I know that there's still the odd microsecond of empty brain and blind panic that strikes, but, trust us, the moves work; the coordinated outfits look fantastic; and you are looking delicious individually and as a troupe.
Tempting though it was to dress for the part in a severe schoolmistress gown, black lisle stockings and intimidating half-moon glasses, we settled instead for our normal burlesque attire and the threat of detention. Well, apart from the Sparkly Bra Pixie who came dressed as Santa's sexy helper, complete with daft little hat and stripey socks. Perhaps it's not that surprising that the Police pull her over as she drives home after class?
However, we like to think of it this way. We're typically asked to dance at events where people are getting together to have a good time and to celebrate something. Often, those celebratory events include alcohol.
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