31 Dec 2013

Shimmy yourself over to our place...

Happy New Year, Showgirls! 

Ditch the onesie. Rip off the Christmas jumper. Sparkle up the sequins. Fluff up the feathers. Slip on your sashaying shoes (easier written than said!) and come and join the other glamorous beauties for a new term of dancing, daftness and delicious dressing up. We start again on Weds 8th January - hurrah!

A whole new dancing year beckons.

Yours, beading up our bodice in anticipation,

Burlicious x

23 Dec 2013

To our delicious Burlicious birthday babe

Happy birthday to the voluptuous Jules!

Don't eat her all at once, now!

With tons of love and hugs from your showgirl partners-in-sequins,

Burlicious xx

PS: And a huge thank you to our former showgirl, Vanessa, at Berry's Eatery, for her talented baking!

21 Dec 2013

The glamour, the lights... the bins, the industrial ducting...

We Burlicious three and seven sassy showgirls were the closing act for the Christmas Variety Show last night.

What a hoot!

It was a hallmark Burlicious experience - the route to our attic changing room took us out to the seafront on a brisk December evening, past the bins, in through the stage door, past the heating units and up into a b*gger's muddle of a storage room lined with ducting. Perched on trestle tables in the gloom, we whiled away the time checking each other for wayward clothing labels and wondering what the nice ladies in the big cat costume were going to be doing as the turn before us.

From this unlovely base we launched a fantastic performance, if we say so ourselves. Afterwards, three separate women told us they would not have the confidence to do what we had done; another wanted to sign up there and then; and one gent was keen to open negotiations to buy us.

Job done.

Half our troupe had never danced in public with us before. As one new showgirl said happily afterwards; "well, that's that virginity lost." Welcome to our gorgeous band of performers, new beauties - we're delighted to have you with us.

Thanking you all for a splendid evening,

Burlicious x

19 Dec 2013

Chuffed to bits!

We had two dress rehearsals last night - one with the professional dancers who are putting Friday's show together, and then one just for us showgirls to tidy up some loose ends and get everything tip top, shipshape and Bristol-fashion (please, no innuendo-laden sniggering in the cheap seats!) before we take the stage.

Here's what you need to know, showgirls - you're looking very fine and so is the routine. It is genuinely a pleasure to see what you have achieved in just a few hours' work spread over a few weeks. I know that there's still the odd microsecond of empty brain and blind panic that strikes, but, trust us, the moves work; the coordinated outfits look fantastic; and you are looking delicious individually and as a troupe.

We're very happy to be stepping onto the stage with you tomorrow... even if we do have to run through the bins area in the pouring rain to get there!

Enjoy it tomorrow - that's what we all do this for.

Yours, ready for a drink in the bar afterwards,

Burlicious x

12 Dec 2013

Disciplinarian burlesque

Last night was our penultimate class before the Variety Show and therefore time to put our sassy showgirls through their paces before we go to the dress rehearsal.

Tempting though it was to dress for the part in a severe schoolmistress gown, black lisle stockings and intimidating half-moon glasses, we settled instead for our normal burlesque attire and the threat of detention. Well, apart from the Sparkly Bra Pixie who came dressed as Santa's sexy helper, complete with daft little hat and stripey socks. Perhaps it's not that surprising that the Police pull her over as she drives home after class?

Anyway, I know you're all asking yourself:  "how did those lovely showgirls respond to being lashed into shape?" The answer is "with aplomb".

Honestly, showgirls, this routine has come on in leaps and bounds in a very short time. Now all you need to do is remember to keep your back straight and your smile big. On the night, you won't have we Burlicious three in the audience intermittently shouting: "t*ts" and "teeth" at you as a helpful reminder. We think that might be frowned on.

Yours, gathering our gorgeousness for the dress rehearsal,

Burlicious x

5 Dec 2013

Sequins for Santa

Musing last night at class about our forthcoming performance in a Christmas Variety Show, it struck us that we have specialised in performing for audiences who, ahem, have had a bit to drink before we go on.

Now, before you conjure up pictures of us on stage behind chain-link security netting, with crazed punters chucking beer bottles at us and baying for blood, we don't want to give the wrong impression.

Yes, our lovely audience at the French-themed evening did get more and more rosy-cheeked and vocally appreciative as the night wore on. Yes, members of the audience at our first charity do did stagger up to us afterwards, half-empty wine bottles tucked firmly under the arm, to insist that they wanted to join our class. Yes, the audience at the End of the Pier Show was comfortably pickled by the time we graced the stage (very generous glasses of wine were being doled out at the makeshift bar). And, yes, guests at various birthday parties, hen parties and restaurants where we have danced have all downed their first drink or two before we don our boas to trip the light fantastic for them.

However, we like to think of it this way. We're typically asked to dance at events where people are getting together to have a good time and to celebrate something. Often, those celebratory events include alcohol.

There is no link between our presence and the tipsiness of the crowd. None whatsoever.


We're just bringing a little extra sparkle to the occasion.

So, our Christmas Variety performance in front of a (we think) more than usually sober crowd is just another opportunity for us to illuminate an evening. Sequins for Santa, if you like. And what could be nicer than that?

Yours, off to the bar,

Burlicious x

28 Nov 2013

Rouging our knees

We're preparing our talented troupe for our spot in the Christmas Variety Show. The routine is coming together nicely, if we say so ourselves. Despite the fact that we'll be minus a seasoned showgirl or two on the night (we'll miss you!), we do have some delicious new girls getting ready to dance with us for the first time.

We can't wait for the first time that they experience how brilliant it is to take what we do in class (minus the giggling; the colourful language; and the costume compromises) on to the stage to dance in public.

Last night's incautious packing and cool (for the wrong reasons) hall meant that we were a slightly motley crew in driving shoes; cardis; and leggings alongside our corsets and fripperies. We may have looked odd, but, boy, did the dancing look good!

Hatcha, ladies, and WHOOPEE!! ... you're getting the hang of the moves a treat. Just remember, straight back, t*ts foremost, and smile at your lovely audience. Trust me, they'll be smiling delightedly back
at you!

Yours, loving what Santa is bringing us for Christmas,

Burlicious x

14 Nov 2013

Mr Banks would have been proud

Last night's class was fabulous - fifteen showgirls; fifteen pink Disney cartoon character brollies; a whole lot of arm waving in an enclosed space; and no visit to A&E. That nice Mr Banks of Mary Poppins fame would have been proud of us and our brolly management skills.

Our brollies are not, I grant you, quite the smartly furled black number that he stepped out briskly with every morning as he went to work. On the other hand, he never quite mastered the art of popping the brolly open through his legs or whizzing it open as he flung it casually over a shoulder. I think we trump him there.

Of course, there were a few mishaps - catching the brolly spokes in the bottom of a corset; bending the poor little things noticeably out of shape (showgirls are surprisingly strong); and the odd nip in the bum caused by a failure to close the brolly BEFORE bringing it back through the legs. However, all in all, it went like a dream. And, oh, the joyous sound of all those brollies opening crisply at once. We've said it before, but it really is like hearing and seeing a flock of pink flamingos take off at once. Magical.

Yours, on our way to the brolly mending shop,

Burlicious x

7 Nov 2013

Oooh Cinders, you SHALL go to the ball!

Into our glass slippers and off we skipped to an audition last week, dancing for a chance to appear in a Christmas variety show.

Coming as we did fresh from something else, we were rather more casually attired than is our showgirl habit. Ah, what the old hands tell you about never wearing anything that you haven't previously danced in is sound advice.

Unaccustomed to dancing in my yoga trousers, in no time at all I managed to "step tap" the heel of my right shoe into the flowing trouser material of the left leg, producing a sort of inescapable leg manacle of lycra. Thus hobbled, I tottered gamely on towards the back of the stage, ankles tied firmly together, hoping that I would be able to free myself by the time we got to the "ta-dah!" that is our "jump the legs wide apart" move. For a moment there, I was, it has to be said, the Les Dawson or the Dick Emery of burlesque (younger readers may need to Google this to appreciate fully the elegance of the moment!).

Despite this frankly rather rubbish display of our skills, our judges were kind enough to invite us to rustle up a shimmy of showgirls and to take the stage as part of December's show. We can't wait! If there's one thing better than dancing with our showgirls in class, it's seeing them perform confidently when they dance with us in public.

Yours, planning outfits already,

Burlicious x

24 Oct 2013

Out-popping Mary Poppins

Hah! Those tricks and twizzles with her brolly that Mary Poppins uses are so old hat! Last night we relaunched an old routine with a new (safer) prop. Having cleared the online outdoor accessories warehouse out of children's umbrellas, off we trotted, spit spot, to class, clutching our bounty and full of expectation.

Our showgirls didn't let us down. They "hurred" on their brolly beguilingly; they polished the tip saucily; and they popped the brollies open through their legs right on time to the musical cue. I have to tell you, the sound of fifteen or so brollies opening smartly at once, then shutting, is like a flock of birds taking off - all very exotic and magical.

For our next trick it'll be the side slide; the palm smack; and the over-the-shoulder "whoosh" the brolly open - it's all just too much fun!

Enjoy half term, showgirls - we look forward to seeing you soon.

Yours, propped to the max,

Burlicious x

17 Oct 2013

Oooh, our showgirls are rock 'ard

Bucketloads of hilarity and showgirl grit last night.

First, the Sparkly Bra Pixie forgot her dancing gear and so put together an outfit at top speed in the local discount clothes store. Sadly, she failed to spot the label on her new orange and black stripey tights which provided the crucial information that the tights are designed for children who are 6 to 8 years old.

They were, it has to be said, a tad short in the leg.

Undaunted, she sawed off the feet with the only implement that I could find on site - a blunt bread knife - and wore them triumphantly as very, very short leggings. Brilliant.

In addition, we finished Big Bad Handsome Man last night. Now, this routine was designed when we had a beautiful, smooth floor on which to dance. It ends with a slow, stealthy, sinuous crawl across the floor and culminates in a sensuous slither onto the belly.

Of course, this works rather less well on a "several not very careful owners" type of floor full of holes, splinters and other hazards. Despite this, our showgirls tackled it uncomplainingly and eighteen of us advanced across the floor like a platoon of commandos in our satins and sequins, avoiding the various womantraps as best we could - hilarious!

Showgirls - thank you for being so accommodating. You bring a tremendous amount of good-natured laughter and smiles to what we do!

Yours, bruised to bits,

Burlicious x

10 Oct 2013

Positively delicious

Four new showgirls joined us last night to shimmy their loveliness to a bit of Big, Bad, Handsome Man - what a delight!

We love the easy mix of seasoned showgirls and new starters that we get in a typical class. It's the best demonstration possible of what we're all about:

  • providing a space where women can come along and be gloriously female for an hour
  • being with a nice bunch of women and having a laugh
  • having a chance to dress up and to dance some delectable routines
  • each and every woman there becoming more confident over time that she is sexy and gorgeous in her own individual way.
We salute you, you gorgeous long-term Burlicious lovelies and you fresh and excited new joiners. Thank you for coming to play with us - you make our classes an absolute bloomin' treat to run!

Yours, happy in our work,

Burlicious x

3 Oct 2013

Available on prescription from Burlicious

Off to class last night nursing a dull headache and feeling considerably peaky. Returned ninety minutes later feeling quite perky and full of the joys of feathers, fripperies and fancy footwork. I tell you something: this showgirl therapy works!

Last night featured one of our favourite routines - the first little gem that we designed from scratch four-and-a-half years ago. Not only is it a bouncy, sassy, "grin from ear to ear" piece of music, but it has the added pleasure of a little bit of synchronised boa twirling.

Getting this right requires a reasonable amount of coordination. Getting it wrong is much easier and results in a complete b*gger's muddle of showgirls bobbing up and down at completely different times and boas twitching about all over the shop like those little fluffy snakes on invisible thread that we used to play with as kids - delightful... but not quite the sleek cabaret look we were after. We love the gentle chaos that breaks out whenever we first introduce this routine and we also love how quickly our showgirls then master it.

Until next week, showgirls... one, two, three, four, bob, UP!

Yours, floating on feathers,

Burlicious x

29 Sept 2013

Take a bow, Busby Berkeley

We're still smiling after last week's class and our first steps in turning an old - and much-loved - routine designed for a dance class into a routine that will show well to an audience.

Showgirls, you were the picture of patience as we messed about with the direction in which we wanted you to face and then toyed with the direction of travel of each of you around the "stage". I tell you, it's much easier being able to step this out with actual showgirls than it is trying it out - just the three of us - in the intimate setting of Burlicious Towers and then guessing where each of you might have ended up once the first few dance sections have been completed!

Shouldn't there be an app for this? Can someone task a pre-teen to do this for us?

How did Busby Berkeley do it? With an army of obedient minions and lots of big sheets of paper?!

Please remind us to put "minions" on our Christmas wish list. Preferably the kind that can double up as wardrobe wizards and props pixies. We need staff!

Yours, dreaming of our empire-to-be,

Burlicious x

19 Sept 2013

While the cat's away...

... the mice make brilliant progress!

I returned to class last night after a week in the Burlicious-less wilds of the western shires. Showgirls, I can't tell you how nice it was to see what you had achieved in my absence. In the more-than-capable gloved hands of the Sparkly Bra Pixie and the voluptuous Jules, you clearly danced up a storm last week judging by how much more confident you looked this week with the routine.

Hovering deliciously for the "flick, and HOLD IT"; turning as one for the "and present bum"; and bunny hopping backwards with panache; you looked fabulous. Even the Wonder Woman turn holds no fear for you now!

Next week we'll capitalise on that triumph and then mess about with the staging so that the routine's ready for an adoring public next year. We can't wait!

Yours, chuffed to bits,

Burlicious x

16 Sept 2013

All a-buzz at Burlicious Towers

I can't believe it's been a month since we last chatted to you. We've been as busy as bees making honey for Burlicious since we last spoke.

Our new term got off to a flying start with a Wonder Woman spin and the sassy sashaying that be-jewel our Love Potion routine.

Then we had our second Saturday workshop. What a delight it was to dance again with showgirls who haven't been able to be at class for a while. And we love, love, love the mismatch between the demure steps and the shouted instructions that seem to be needed for this routine - Sergeant Major shouts of "LEFT!" and "CURTSY!". Stormtrooper burlesque - you can't beat it!

We're now preparing for our next performance. Some lucky creature is getting us as a dancing birthday party surprise... what could be nicer?!

Yours, wrapping ourselves up beautifully,

Burlicious x

16 Aug 2013

Go on, you deserve it!

It's just three weeks until our next afternoon workshop, ladies! Half the places have already gone and we're open for bookings. Fancy joining us? We'll go over the basic showgirl moves; teach you a smouldering routine from scratch (no previous experience required!); and then there'll be cupcakes and fizz as a grand finale.

All this and the chance to spend an afternoon strutting around feeling gorgeous as well as having a bit of a giggle!

Details are on the right.

Yours, looking forward to it immensely,

Burlicious x

4 Aug 2013

The aftermath

21 showgirls; a bounty of boas; a splash of fizz and a sultry, steamy, sweaty afternoon of grinds, flowers and quickies. All that was left to tell the tale were our customary feathery signature and a few cupcakes.

Thanks for a superb afternoon, Showgirls!

Yours, re-threading our escapologist corset,

Burlicious x

2 Aug 2013

A breeze in our boa

It's our first workshop tomorrow, showgirls - we can't wait!

Our boas are full of fresh summer breezes from the garden; the gloves are laundered; the fizz is chilling; cupcakes are ordered; and we Burlicious three had a fabulous, if meltingly sweaty, afternoon yesterday planning for an afternoon of pleasure with you tomorrow.

See you soon!

Yours, excited and keen,

Burlicious x

31 Jul 2013

Afternoon delight

A practical post today, showgirls (I know - we'll wash our mouth out later).

We're delighted that we have so many Burlicious virgins joining us for our workshop this Saturday. So, here's what you need to know:

  • if you don't have a boa of your own to flirt about with, don't worry - we'll provide you with one for the afternoon
  • the same goes for a pair of evening gloves - we have plenty of spares
  • wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and able to move. Whatever you decide to wear - corset and undies; a cheeky little number all your very own design; or your usual exercise kit - is absolutely fine by us. The key thing is that it allows you to bend down, lean over, and generally strut about
  • trainers won't allow you to strut your gorgeous stuff. You need shoes with a heel, even a very small heel is fine. And you want to be sure that your shoes will stay on your feet, so don't choose mules or something that you'll walk out of or accidentally kick off as you get into your stride!
And that's it! We'll be there from 1.45pm to welcome you. Bring some water. Bring your gorgeous self. Bring your secret inner showgirl and we'll show you how to have a lot of fun with her!

Yours, ordering cupcakes as we speak,

Burlicious x

25 Jul 2013

Sultry, steamy and messily sweaty

We had a Turkish bath of a class last night as we toiled for our art on a hot July evening. But, oh, the fun you can have by merely turning a routine back-to-front.

Having delighted the passengers on the top deck of the bus who could see a couple of us getting changed as the bus waited by the bus stop next to our window, we danced our routines to the stage; to the dartboard; to the bus stop; and, finally, to each other.

Watching opposing lines of showgirls strut triumphantly towards each other in perfect time is an absolute treat. Watching some of them then utterly lose the plot because they are facing a different direction for the first time as they turn around is just as delicious.

We have always said this: we love it when it goes well. We love it just as much when it goes wrong. As long as our beautiful troupe is having a laugh and enjoying what they're doing, we're chuffed. Thanks for a great end of term, ladies - see you soon!

Yours, back down the choreography pit to mine a new little gem ready for next term,

Burlicious x

18 Jul 2013

Rule 1: Never outnumber your audience

This rule has to be up there with "If you're a guest, you must never eat the last biscuit on the plate," Actually, I never understood that one, I must say. Knowing that someone has to eat it, I couldn't see why it shouldn't be me.

Anyway, I digress.

Our guest appearance at the Zumbathon on a sweltering Saturday afternoon was... interesting. Our troupe numbered nine. The audience numbered fourteen punters, plus assorted lovely organisers, zumba instructors and bar staff. We came very, very close to that perilous situation where there were more of us than there were of them. It transpires that the possibility of zumba-ing for hours for charity couldn't compete on the day with the siren call of sunshine on the beach on the hottest day of the year.

On the upside, we had one entire of the floor of the club to ourselves as a dressing room - this was way more glamorous than our normal crowded ladies'/gents' loo. Also, dancing our routines to music coming from a proper "lift you off your feet" sound system was brilliant, as was the gorgeous nightclub lighting. So, we went away sweaty and happy, even if there were very few people there with whom we could share our delight.

Next time, we'll bus them in from old peoples' homes!

Yours, thinking we need a nightclub of our own,

Burlicious x

12 Jul 2013

We love it when a plan comes together

On Wednesday we had our final run through before our public appearance this Saturday.

It always reduces us to grinning idiots when we stand back and watch the troupe dance without us a routine that we have nurtured from its first quickie and grind. Last night was no exception.

Showgirls, you're looking good - synchronised shimmies; gorgeous glove peels; fabulous floor work; and some leaning-over bum wiggles that are set to delight the crowd.

So, on Saturday, SMILE and enjoy it!

Yours, pleased as punch,

Burlicious x

6 Jul 2013

Roll up, roll up...

Off last week for a quick recce of the night club in which we and our showgirls will be strutting our stuff at a Zumbathon next Saturday. Yes, we will be the half-time entertainment for a hot and happy horde of zumba babes who will be shaking their groove thangs for charity all afternoon.

We think we're in for a treat. The club has top notch sound (tested and approved by us); flashing disco lights; and a floor with no discernable holes in it - luxury!

All this and the opportunity to come staggering out afterwards from the velvet gloom of the club into the bright light of an afternoon, blinking like little moles in our corsets and heels.

Canterbury, we hope you're ready!

Yours,  readying the troupe for action,

Burlicious x

20 Jun 2013

Something for the weekend

A gorgeous, if "glowing" (a lady never sweats, of course) class last night, raising the temperature with a fast-developing trio of lovely routines.

Blimey, but it's hot in a boa!

But what has really got us fanning ourselves in raptures is the booking (at last!) of two afternoons of summer delight. Yes, we finally have dates for our long-promised half day workshops.

We'll put out full details soon, showgirls, but mark us in your dance card now for Saturday 3rd August and/or Saturday 7th September, starting at 2pm.

No previous experience needed. The great thing about a weekend workshop is that we can finally see all of you beautiful women who are already otherwise engaged on a Wednesday night.

Can't wait to see you for a Showgirl Saturday, sashaying and shimmying!

Yours,  in excited anticipation,

Burlicious x

13 Jun 2013

Smorgasbord Showgirls

Last night's class had a touch of Fever; a dollop of Lady Marmalade; and a main course of All That Jazz. Our showgirls hoovered up the lot with ease and were clearly ready for more.

However, I really must make my instructions to the troupe more elegant.

The move "put the flat of your hand on your sacrum" followed by the move "now turn your head towards the audience" got shortened in the heat of the moment to "Bum... Head" - which sounded more like a playground insult than a piece of dance direction.

I'm terribly taken by those slim, professional, terrifying dance mistresses in films - all chignon hairdo, imperiously-arched eyebrows, sleek black clothes and cigarette holder. Sadly, I'm more likely to have the a*se ripped out of my tights and to be cantering about in class with my
knicker label hanging out.

This sophistication thing, it's harder than it looks, you know!

Yours, dreaming of undies that can take the punishment that we hand out,

Burlicious x

24 May 2013

Horses for courses, clotheses for poses

We had Lady Marmalade as our routine of choice this week and the first bit of floor work for some of our lovely new showgirls. Hard on the stiletto heels of that learning experience came another - corsets, whilst delicious, are not very forgiving when bending.

Who would have thought, when sitting on the floor with one leg outstretched, that one's ankles and shins could be so completely out of reach? Suddenly there's a stark choice between reaching forward to stroke lovingly along the leg and... well, breathing.

Hats off to the Von Teeses of the world and their courage in the face of corset-wearing. We find it challenging enough to wear the steel-boned numbers when we're driving to class, sitting bolt upright at the wheel and breathing shallowly like a nervous Victorian governess.

This level of gorgeousness comes at a cost, you know.

Yours, planning a very unstructured outfit for our next class,

Burlicious x

16 May 2013

More ideas than brain

We're currently enjoying ourselves dancing to an old favourite - Lady Marmalade. It's a brilliantly unsubtle, sassy number, all hips and strutting.

The downside to dancing a routine that you're as comfortable with as an old bra, is that sometimes you forget it's there and suddenly find that you can't remember what step comes next. At least, that's what happens to me.

Or rather, what happens to me is that I find myself concentrating instead on our gorgeous showgirls - in all their enticing variety - and then I start thinking of moves that would look great with that perfect pair of legs, or that temptingly curved derriere, or those beautiful arms... and my brain fills itself up with future choreography...

... leaving not quite enough brain to pilot me through the next steps of the routine.

Sad really.

Still, I have a corset covered with silver sequins; we're dancing with a fabulous troupe of women; we're having a good time; and the hour's class flashes past. What could be better than that? Perfection is vastly overrated.

Yours, muddling through in nice outfits,

Burlicious x

2 May 2013

Less is not always more

The path to Burlicious Towers has been worn quite smooth this week as a series of delivery chaps has brought us goodies from afar. A bounty of boas and a flirtation of feather fans have been welcomed into our eclectic wardrobe.

In our dreams we would be going all Gipsy Rose Lee at this point and devising something delicious and demure with nothing more than a pair of full-length ostrich feather fans, a well-turned ankle, and a winning smile.

However, what we have acquired are more akin to starter fans, just 30cm long from handle to tip. With these, any hide and reveal move that we could craft would be less "hint and tease" and much more "here it all is, mate, ready or not".

Not really the look that we're after.

Mind you, our cunning plan is to see if we can use these pretty little fans to remake our fabulous parasol routine. Watch this space, showgirls. If this works a thing of great beauty will be coming your way... and this time, without the visit to A&E that the parasols threatened.

Yours, loving our new plumage,

Burlicious x

25 Apr 2013

Mistresses of the Wardrobe

A full class last night with a wealth of wardrobe triumphs and tribulations:
  • the kind of black patent stilt heels that are clearly designed to be worn just from the limo to bed;
  • the Sparkly Bra Pixie triumphant in her Wonder Woman burlesque outfit;
  • cute corsets; 
  • sequinned knickers;
  • miles of be-stockinged leg;
  • and, in amongst them all, me with an enormous ladder hurtling down my tights from my a*se, making me look like I might be better off operating at the cheaper end of the market.
 Ah well.

On the upside, our troupe of showgirls looked gorgeous, stepping proudly as one around their chair and into a wriggle, and tackling the new moves with aplomb.

All this and some lovely girly conversations about the wonder of bras; the wisdom of corsets; and whether the perfect burlesque knicker really exists.

What's not to like?

Yours, be-fripperied to the max,

Burlicious x

18 Apr 2013

Back in the saddle

My, but it was good to be back with the showgirl posse last night, dancing our delectable routine to  "Fever". This one's a demure little thing - all coy glances and "catch me" back views.

Our beauties took to it like showgirls to diamonds, mastering the slide step and managing the first graceful mount of the chair (no, it's not what you're thinking. Shame on you!) without looking too terrified. Hurrah!

Next week, we'll up the temperature a bit with the gorgeous thing that is the over-the-chair backbend.


It has to be said that the female form in all its infinite variety is a beautiful thing.

You go, girls - you're looking great!

Yours, back in harness and loving it,

Burlicious x

1 Apr 2013

Cool moves, hot beer

Off we went on Saturday to dance at the birthday party of one of our beautiful showgirls. Dressed in our finest we gave a delighted audience in a packed wine bar three delicious routines.

We're now old hands at this "intimate little venue" game and deftly avoided the tables groaning with food, the low ceilings and the nervous crowd of standing spectators. It's always a pleasure to watch the ones at the front shuffle back nervously as the dance takes us right up to them, a glint of showgirl mischief in our eye.

Unusually, this time it wasn't the Sparkly Bra Pixie's clothes that deserted her - it was the corset of the voluptuous Jules that made a determined break for it. As I re-laced her into her modesty, it was pointed out to me that I was missing a trick as there were at least twenty men in the audience who would gladly have paid for the pleasure of doing this simple task.

"Ooh," said a nice gentleman when we had finished dancing, "suddenly my lager's gone quite warm."


Yours, raising the temperature on a wintry Easter,

Burlicious x

21 Mar 2013

Showing what we can do

Burlicious Towers is positively a-buzz with plans for the future right now. We're very close to committing to an end-of-year show in which our Burlicious beauties can strut their stuff for an adoring audience. There's a lot to do, but we know it'll be worth it and that those showgirls who do decide tread the boards with us will absolutely love the experience... even if it's a knee-knocking thought initially.

Showgirls, if we didn't think you could do it superbly, we wouldn't have suggested it!

And we're on for some summer workshops so that our regulars can brush up their moves, as well as enticing women who can't get to our regular classes to boa up and join the fun. And did we mention the likelihood of cake and champagne after...? How could that be anything less than a perfect way to spend an afternoon?!

Yours, plotting and planning madly, being our own Miss Moneypenny with librarian spectacles and twinsets at the ready,

Burlicious x

16 Mar 2013

A jamboree bag of goodies

The snow outside did nothing to detract from the glow of our troupe of showgirls on Wednesday. Sterling progress was achieved with the intimate little threesome of a routine that we have designed for Black Velvet.

Our showgirls pony-trotted, white lightninged and wriggled gorgeously. Long evening gloves were used to devastatingly appealing effect to deliver cheeky little smacks on proffered rears. Sequinned leggings, satin corsets, skyscraper heels... we had the lot.

Next week we'll get onto the teapot slide, the flash (and, no, we're not suddenly introducing nudity. Trust us - your beautiful outfits are safe with us!) and the pop drop.

Can't wait.

Yours, with a head full of lyrics and steps,

Burlicious x

9 Mar 2013

Officially amazing

Showgirls, we have always known that you make an amazing job of the routines that we invent for you to dance. If you shimmy over and take a look at our "Show and Tell" page, you'll see that the local press agrees with us!

Yours, on the floor with amazement at your loveliness,

Burlicious x

6 Mar 2013

Planning to please

Listen up, showgirls, potential showgirls and our lovely groupies - we need your practical input on a number of ideas we're mulling over.

Firstly, we're getting to the point where our Wednesday class is full. So, if we were to add another class to the week, what day and time would suit you best? We're not asking our current troupe to shift to another slot, but if you know of anyone who would love to join us but who can't make Wednesdays at 8pm, when could she come? Alternatively, if you had the chance to change your class time, when would be your ideal time to come along?

Secondly, we plan to run a couple of workshops this summer. We're thinking of a half day workshop on a weekend. Help us out here - if you, or any of your friends, were interested in coming, would you prefer a Saturday or a Sunday; morning or afternoon? We're planning on lots of luscious dancing and then maybe a glass of something fizzy (no, not Tizer), and a smidgeon of gorgeous cake as a grand finale.

Thirdly, we're so proud of what our showgirls achieve in class, we want to run an end of term show so you can show your friends and family what you can do. We're currently looking at the 13th or 20th July. Troupe - do you fancy performing? If not, do you fancy coming along anyway? How many people might you bring with you? We're asking so we can start thinking now about the size of hall we'll need to book.

Finally, we have great plans to train up additional instructors, so we can make the Burlicious experience available to women far and wide. Do you know anyone who would love to do this? We hope to run our first licensing workshop this year. All we need now are some women who would like to step into this adventure with us!

Thoughts, ideas, preferences.... email them all to burlicious@gmail.com, or pop a message on the Facebook page, or tell us in class.

Yours, excited about the future,

Burlicious x

3 Mar 2013

Up close and personal

Off last night to be the entertainment for a burlesque-themed evening at the lovely Berry's Eatery. The Berry ladies are exceptionally gifted bakers, so we had the surreal experience of shimmying into our smalls in the back room whilst surrounded by delicious-looking cakes and baking ingredients. Mmmm.

Then it was out into the restaurant to dance four routines for a happy crowd. It's an intimate setting, requiring clever in-flight adjustment to avoid accidentally head-butting the bar or dealing audience members a swift blow to the side of the head whilst majestically sweeping out a leg.

We particularly liked the gentlemen who looked politely away when presented with a fishnetted derriere at very close quarters. We also liked those who slunk shyly down into their seat as we wandered about the crowd bestowing them with little strokes and ruffling hair as we passed.

All this and the added bonus of some of our favourite people in the audience made for a superb evening.

Yours, taking bookings now,

Burlicious  x

28 Feb 2013

Oh what a night...

Last night's class had everything a showgirl could wish for:

- our beautiful, smouldering new routine
- gorgeous new girls giving it their all
- confident and sassy regulars, showing what they can do
- the flutter of boas, the glide of gloves, the clip of heels...

All this plus the sneaky and unintentional appearance of a couple of previously private body parts.

You can put a showgirl into a delicious corset...but that doesn't mean that all of her will obediently stay there!

Yours, just knowing that a vest isn't the answer,

Burlicious x

21 Feb 2013

What the papers say

The article below appears for your delectation in the Herne Bay Times and the Whitstable Times today. As the lovely Dave says, we Burlicious three are gearing up to sprinkle the magic of Burlicious further afield. We'll tip you the wink when it's time to invest in boa factories so you can cash in on a global phenomenon!

Yours, loving every one of our showgirls,

Burlicious x

17 Feb 2013

Sea Shanties and Showgirls

Last night we opened the second half of "The End Of The Pier Show" in Whitstable, and what a hoot it was.

Together with a foxy compere, a delicious matron, sketches, comedy, sea shanties, the lovely Glory Pearl revealing almost her all, and the brilliantly disturbing Paul Incredible abusing his anatomy, we played to a packed house of 150.

The audience was suitably appreciative. The burly men who made up the sea shanty singers' group were even more so when they discovered we were sharing the same dressing room. All this and an emergency flask of G&T for one of our number meant smiles all round.

Yours, bringing a sequinned sparkle to a number of lives,

Burlicious x

14 Feb 2013

Proud parents

Fresh from its debut at last week's performance, our new routine took its first faltering steps in class last night while we Burlicious three beamed fondly at our creation.

We had a lovely mix of experienced regulars and wide-eyed new showgirls come to play with us, and we filled our little hall with gorgeous women, all doing their thing in a Slow, Southern Style. It was an exceptionally promising start and we're beside ourselves with excitement waiting to see how the glove routine pans out!

I do declare that if our girls crack the steamy, sultry style of this one, we'll need fanning down with a boa, followed by a refreshing mint julep... or two!

Yours, feeling suitably flushed with success,

Burlicious x

12 Feb 2013

Spreading the word

A fun interview session yesterday with that nice Dave Shepherd from Radio Cabin, talking about the wonder of Burlicious and why it makes us smile. You can listen to us on his show, probably this Wednesday evening or next, gossiping on about corsets, costumes, and why what we do is so empowering and confidence-building.

And we're loving one of his golden rules for clothing: "Just because you can do it up, that doesn't mean that it fits."

True, too true.

Yours, striding out over the airwaves,

Burlicious x

10 Feb 2013

We'll give you some oooh la la.....

Off with some of our beautiful troupe last night to the Kent village of Grafty Green, as the evening's entertainment in a French-themed dinner for about 90 people. What a fabulous audience - warm, welcoming and generous with their applause and thanks.

And the showgirls? Ah, the showgirls were divine.

Gyrating in amongst the dinner guests, they did us proud. Corseted, be-sparkled, be-feathered and lashed to the nines (er, that's eye lashes we're talking about here, people. We're not that harsh as troupe mistresses!), they carried on, gorgeous and confident, even when the music had a few little hiccups and went completely silent.

In the nicest possible way, ladies, you danced like real pros!

All this, and a brand new dance routine for class next week.

Yours, resting on our laurels,

Burlicious x

7 Feb 2013

Simply scrumptious

Our final rehearsal last night before our performance this Saturday, and, oh, what a pleasure it was to see our little troupe deliver with such panache!

Girls, you're gorgeous. Watching you dance in different directions (intentionally this time!) was a real treat. We know it's immodest even to suggest this, but, frankly,we think Saturday's punters are in for a real treat.

Now we're off to the wardrobe to find outfits that reveal only what we intend and that have a reduced chance of unilaterally attaching one body part to another. The Burlesque Hunchback of Notre Dame look, top corset buckles caught firmly in lower fishnets, is not what we're after!

Yours, proud of you all,

Burlicious x

4 Feb 2013

Outwitted by technology

This is an apology to all those lovely women (and you, David!) who have emailed us via the website since September last year.

Er, in clearing out the technology attic, we have just found a dusty folder of emails, tucked away in the nether regions of our trusty laptop, full of cheery little messages from prospective showgirls asking if they can join us. And, of course, these emails have gone unanswered by us for months because we had no idea they were there. 


I've emailed you all today giving you the details you need about our classes. Please don't take the long silence as a snub or as stand-offishness on our part - it's entirely down to technology dim-wittedness! Do come and join us, either for this new routine, or the next. We're really very nice and welcoming.

Yours, hiding in shame in the feather cupboard,

Burlicious x

31 Jan 2013

Returning to the mother ship

Showgirls, this is just a quick reminder that we start our normal classes again on Weds 13th Feb. 

For your delight and delectation we'll be launching our brand new routine, and, oh, what a little beauty it is!

Some of you regular showgirls have been lovely enough to steer clear of the chaos of class while we rehearsed for various shows. Thank you! We really look forward to having you gorgeous creatures back with us soon, shimmying your sequins in our delicious new number.

Some of you have been teetering on the brink of joining us, or returning to us, for a little while. You know who you are! Now's the time to do it. Feb 13th is the best chance you will have this side of Easter to come along and learn a routine that is new to the entire class. Feather up and join the fun!

Yours, desperate to show you what we have wrought in the name of beauty,

Burlicious x

24 Jan 2013


A double class last night to put our gorgeous showgirls through their paces for our forthcoming public performances.

We smouldered, we shimmied, we strutted and we sashayed. Boas and gloves went on, off, on, off, on, off like little Christmas lights.

We took those routines at lightning speed, cantering from one to another like the high-stepping thoroughbred fillies that we are.

Even the surprise appearance in our midst of some random geezer off the street partway through Temptation didn't put our glamorous girls off their stride. Just as well, really, because we'll be dancing at our next gig amongst a hall full of people having dinner.

Boa in the dessert, anyone?

Yours, getting ready,

Burlicious x

17 Jan 2013

Dancing upmarket

Last weekend's performance at a private party was not without challenges.

We were ready for the fact that the space was teeny.

We expected that the music quality might prove a challenge...and it certainly did.

We weren't ready for the added difficulty of dancing on good quality carpet and underlay - wow, what a far cry that was from the floors in our usual, less posh venues! When you're mere inches away from the punters, unexpected heel wobbles call for thigh muscles like steel, working at maximum tautness, just to keep yourself from tottering into their arms.

Still, they loved us; they loved learning our beginners' routine; and the champagne flowed generously. All in all, it was a wild success and we had a ball.

Yours, loving this stuff,

Burlicious x

12 Jan 2013

Private Dancers

Well, darlings, the Burlicious dance card is crammed full for the next couple of months.

We Burlicious three are dancing at a private party tonight - can't wait!

In February we take our troupe to perform at a French-themed evening in an intimate little hall. Practice of our six routines for that event started on Wednesday...and what entertaining chaos it was!

We're in discussion about possibly opening a variety show and we're going to be the entertainment for a burlesque evening at a local restaurant. Burlicious Towers is now full of stage measurements, choreography ideas and the hilarious challenge of trying to practice our routines in teeny spaces so we can fit into some of our smaller engagements!

We're thinking that there's an untapped market for midget burlesque. Any of you elf or pixie types who fancy getting involved, do send us a message by fieldmouse, or something, and we'll see what we can arrange for you!

Yours, over-excited about entertaining others,

Burlicious x




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