26 May 2022

Oooohh! The elves are building our workshops

In September 2009, we opened our new dance class with our own choreography to the brilliant, sassy, just absolutely-full-of-it, "Lady Marmalade". And, apart from the Covid intermission which necessarily closed us down for some months, we have been welcoming women to our Wednesday evening class ever since. 

Last night, to bookend things neatly, we finished our final Wednesday class with Lady Marmalade. We are delighted to report that that early dance creation still delivers strut, sass and gentle bewilderment aplenty. We danced, we laughed, we turned confidently in the wrong direction, and we strewed the hall floor generously with boa feathers. 

Over the twelve-plus years of the class, we have danced with dozens of fantastic women. Some are still with us. Others have moved on to other entertainment or to a different pattern of life. Others want to return when we move to doing weekend workshops rather than a weekly class (we do love a workshop, it must be said).  But all of you, you fabulous lot, you have made the class fun and beautiful and daft and witty and a tonic every week. Whatever mood I have been in when I set out to go to class at the end of a working day, I have never failed to come back feeling properly perked up and happier. That's magical.

So, showgirls, the magic will definitely continue, but less frequently and in larger doses. Our first workshop will be on Sunday 10th July, between 2pm and 5pm. Doors will open at 1.30pm, and we will bring refreshments to revive you halfway through. We priced our last workshop at £30. We're going to try this one at £25, so that we can test the appetite for a workshop every couple of months or so.

Let us know if you fancy joining us. We'll pop up more details soon. Save the date!

Yours, revving up gently for a new pattern of deliciousness,

Burlicious x

19 May 2022

Change is definitely afoot

Our long-term regulars will know this already. We Burlicious Three have decided that it's time to change the way in which we deliver our classes. 

Don't worry - there is no plan to make our class crisp and professional (we'll save that kind of behaviour for our public performances). And there is definitely no plan to strip out the laughter, the double entendres, the missteps, the wardrobe misadventures, and the gentle waywardness of a typical Burlicious class.

No, what will change is the timing of the class itself. Instead of the weekly Wednesday evening injection of fun and sass that we have been running since 2009 (two-thousand-and-actual-flippin'-nine!), we will run less frequent workshops instead. We plan to start with a Sunday afternoon - hopefully 3rd or 10th July for the first one - and then to have a half day workshop every couple of months or so, depending on what you lovely lot want. 

We'll be sad not to see our Showgirls weekly. On the upside, though, workshop attendees are more likely to be able to learn a complete routine in one afternoon frolic, rather than missing a couple of Wednesday classes in each routine as the rest life gets in the way over the weeks. 

Our last Weds class will be next week.We will be back with workshop news soon when we know more.

Yours, gearing up for some happily daft afternoons,

Burlicious x

18 Apr 2022

Best in show

The routine that we are currently dancing is a flirty, flippy little number. It's the first one that we ever designed, so it has lots of repeated steps and is a breeze both to teach and to dance. The most challenging bits are a couple of sections where formations of three showgirls break apart, and each seperate showgirl then heads off to another part of the stage.

Showgirls can cover that ground in a slink, a sass, a bouncy little step, or another manner of their choosing...but each original group of three showgirls absolutely must meet up again in a set order and orientation when they get to the other part of the stage, or it all goes belly up very swiftly.

It's fair to say that there was a little more emphasis on "free range" than on "freestyle" last week. Dancing alongside me and watching our lovelies trotting about all over the hall, the Voluptuous Jules was enjoying herself muttering "come-bye, come-bye" as if our beauties were errant sheepdogs, needing direction. 

We might work on this. We already have appealingly waggy tails featuring in this routine, as well as some crawling on all fours and a "roll over". All we need is an invitiation to Crufts and we shall steal the show.

Yours, thinking that the whole collar and lead thing might be too much?

Burlicious x

25 Mar 2022

Popping to the bank

Years ago, we Burlicious Three went to a fantastic burlesque show with Miss Polly Rae and the Hurly Burly Girls. One act consisted of a shapely woman ending the first half by coming off the stage and into the audience. She was covered in balloons, and was carrying a long pin. She offered a number of men her pin, and invited them to pop a balloon. As they popped, more and more of her was revealed. 

The Sparkly Bra Pixie and I looked at each other speculatively, just one thought between us - we could cover The Voluptuous Jules in balloons and charge per ballon popped. Jules is absolutely the kind of delicious curvy shape that would have netted us a small fortune if we had done this. A "pop-reveal" would be a very popular way for us to launch an interval.

So, showgirls, as we head into our forthcoming two week interval (back in class on Wednesday 13th April), treat yourself to a little pop of whatever gives you pleasure to keep your spirits high until we dance again. You know it makes sense.

Yours, sending out for balloons,

Burlicious x 

17 Mar 2022

Putting a routine to bed

As we cruised smoothly to the end of a routine last night, I was thinking about what we Burlicious Three wanted for this class when we set up our sequinned shop way back in 2009 (2009!):

·        Designing and teaching dance routines that use some fabulous, sexy moves and that are more about dancing and laughter than about stripping (no more than gloves and boas are ever removed on our watch)

·        The gorgeous women that come to class choosing to dress in whatever makes them feel good - fishnets and heels; basques and corsets; sequin shorts; cheeky little skirts, yoga kit, normal daywear… it’s all fair game as long as they can mooove in it

·        The chance for each of us to unleash our inner showgirl

·        No pressure. No expectations. No judgement. B*ggering up a routine is nothing more than a chance to lose yourself in laughter and to enjoy the slapstick. Stepping on your own boa; coming to a complete halt with no idea what the next step might be; heading off confidently in the wrong direction; peeling off a glove and then accidentally slapping the next woman along with it...it's all part of an average class.

We are delighted to report that all those precious ingredients are still very much in place today.

Last night we danced and danced. We danced the routine in new wrong ways. We danced it in different directions. We danced the right moves at the wrong time. We learned that not one of us knows what a circle looks like. And then, we danced it beautifully, with syncopated sass and slink. Fantastic.

All this and an astonishingly chilly breeze which suddenly gusted through an open window straight at the gusset as we performed a quick move on the floor with legs open, brought tears of laughter to the eyes.

Our work here with this routine is done, showgirls. See you next week for a fresh routine.

Yours, with our hand on our tenner (inflation has done away with the ha’penny, as the Sparkly Bra Pixie pointed out),

Burlicious x

27 Feb 2022

A purely practical post, Showgirls

Just a reminder that there is no class next week on Weds 2nd March. Usual thing - it's the first Wednesday of the month and the hall is in use by another group.

On Weds 9th March we plan to dance the bejaysus out of our current routine, finishing the last few weeks' work in a triumphant flurry of strutting our stuff, chucking off our boa, and chaining ourselves to each other with our gloves. 

That means that on Weds 16th March we will start a new routine. We're going back to the very first routine that we Burlicious Three designed together. It's a flippy, flirty little thing and it's as easy as wobbling on a stiletto heel. It's a tad over five years since we last taught this one, and almost thirteen since we created it, and we are still very fond of it. 

If you are thinking about giving a Burlicious class a test drive, then this is absolutely the routine for you as it is deliciously simple. Don't worry - the routine does not include doing the splits! We just like this shot of us having a ball with a lovely group at an outdoor birthday party :-).

Look forward to seeing you in ten days' time. 


17 Feb 2022

A magic circling of the hips

Last night's move that is new to the troupe was a slow, seductive roll of one hip up and outwards, followed
by a slow, seductive roll of the other hip up and outwards, followed by... you get the picture.

It does take a while to mistress properly, it must be said. And, this morning, I am sure that new muscles are reminding me of that very process. But, oh, watching our showgirls advance in this fashion whilst coyly removing one glove is a proper treat. 

The accompanying expressions of pure and dogged concentration may need a little work, but that will come. As will the ability to loop one showgirl's glove through another showgirl's glove without getting hooked up in the other's corset, thus risking a sudden undoing and an unplanned revelation. 

It's high stakes we play for in our weekly dance class for the gently bewildered 😁. One wrong move and there is an inadvertent stripping (and we can reveal that this has happened before)!

Yours, trotting about happily in an increasingly lovely bit of showgirl chaos,

Burlicious x

10 Feb 2022

You can forget yer Sudoku


A cracking little class last night, giving our showgirls the chance to catch up with missed classes. We roared through the floor routine and twinkled deliciously into the second “arms up” routine.

Then we turned round to face the opposite direction. And then, in the words of one of our showgirls, it all went “to c*ck”.

In defence, the second “arms up” routine is fast. Move follows move follows move, with a move on every beat. It looks fab, but the brain does get a teeny bit overloaded. In the split second it takes to remember what comes next, you are one move behind… and then it’s all over bar the shouting and the giggling.

On the upside, we assume we are going to have brains the size of planets with this as our weekly mental workout. We can chuck out our crosswords and just wrestle mentally with “arm, arm (pretty hands please), grind, turn, and PENGUIN!” instead.

Yours, not booking Mastermind just yet,

Burlicious x

27 Jan 2022

A change of roles

We Burlicious Three differ from each other in terms of our ability to learn and then remember our routines. The Sparkly Bra Pixie picks 'em up swiftly, only infrequently getting stuck on a move that bedevils her, with the result that her repeated misdelivery of that move drives her into a fury until she sorts it out.

The Voluptuous Jules appears not to be concentrating, but she also picks up a routine fast. Once she has it, she has it... unless she gets distracted or unless we turn the routine around so we are all facing in the opposite direction.

Me, I'm the slowest of the three to pick up a routine, and I can invent fresh ways of messing it up as I go along. In class, it's also me who frequently cannot remember what comes next until I hear the next piece of music.

So, it was disconcerting last night to have me firing accurately on all cylinders while Jules distracted herself into a series of missteps and mistimings, getting it wrong in ways in which she has never, ever, got it wrong before. Maybe there was something odd in the ether? Maybe she was just trying to give the troupe an extra challenge? Who knows... but she was every bit as perplexed by the experience as we were. 

Despite these hiccups, this routine is developing veeery nicely. Boa routine bubbling along Burliciously? Tick. Floor routine flounced through? Tick. Next it's the glove routine and the final third of the dance. You're doing a cracking job, Showgirls!

Yours, absolutely delighted, Burlicious x

20 Jan 2022

Intermittent synchronicity

It can take a while to get one's head around a routine and to learn it so that feet, arms and body do what they should at every beat. 

It's an additional challenge to do that AND to learn how best to position oneself to dance alongside another showgirl without accidentally whacking her in the head with an enthusiastic flung-out arm, or failing entirely to connect with her when (as in this routine) a boa is passed from one to another.

Our little hall has no mirrors. Leading from the front of the class last night, with my back to the troupe for the most part, it makes me smile to hear little scamperings behind me as various showgirls quickly adjust where they are standing as they suddenly realise that they are not where they need to be in relation to their partner. I like, too, the helpless giggles that often accompany these ad hoc manoeuvres. Quite often, a sea of happy chaos greets me when we all turn around and I can see for the first time what has been going on behind me.

On the other hand, what sometimes greets we Burlicious Three is a crisp, coordinated, in time, on beat troupe, all absolutely on top of the moves. Showgirls, that "buttock, buttock, foot, hand" sequence is fast becoming an utter marvel. If only I could say the moves fast enough to guide us as we dance!

Yours, loving what we do,

Burlicious x

13 Jan 2022

A time-honoured profession

 8 years ago on Facebook, I posted this:

So, last night the three of us Burlicious beauties performed at a private party. Shoehorned into a teeny space we gave them three great showgirl routines and then taught our beginners' routine to a heaving, giggling mass of women and one lovely man. A sweaty and superb time was had by all.

Afterwards, I was chatting to a man who had watched with interest throughout.

"My aunt was a showgirl at the Windmill Club" he said.

"Oh," says I, "how interesting."

"Yes," he replied. "So, I know all about your.... " [significant pause for emphasis while his eyes slowly traveled up and down the full length of my body as I stood there in my corset and fishnets] "... profession."

Well, really! What COULD he mean?!

It's not as if you can BUY this kind of well-matured and prime vintage womanhood, you know. The cheek of it! 😀"

That post struck a perfect chord with last night’s class in which we launched a brand new routine. All the usual ingredients were there – misdirection (mainly me); missteps (see misdirection for cause); misbehaving boas; laughter; swearing (almost entirely me); and bemused and amused gentle befuddlement.

Also in evidence was delicious, perfect and prime womanhood, and a bloomin’ professional-looking troupe getting swiftly to grips with the routine. This, showgirls, could develop to be another winner of a routine, suitable for future performance.

Yours, getting ready for our “penguin” move next week,

Burlicious x




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