21 Dec 2017

Ungirdling for pleasures to come

Another delicious Burlicious term of dancing closes as Christmas approaches. We'll be unlacing our corsets, slipping out of our stilettos, peeling off our fishnets, and getting ready for a few days of a different kind of sensual pleasure.

Of course, that kind of sensual pleasure may well have implications come January for the viability of the rather more contoured elements of the Burlicious wardrobe, but we'll cross that bridge (or that additional podgy barrier) when we come to it.

Thank you, Showgirls, for a term full of fun and triumph and delight and daftness. Last night, it must be said, was an absolute scream. Loving your work and your company, as always.

We look forward to seeing you again in 2018. First class will be on Wednesday 10th January. 

Yours, wondering if it's tooooo early for a glass of Christmas champagne,

Burlicious x

14 Dec 2017

To flange, or not to flange...

We Burlicious three are, of course, mistresses of invention. It is with some pride that we announce to the world the birth of yet another new dance term – the flange.

“Flange,” we think, is a delicious word, ripe with smutty overtones, especially when it appears in a routine in which the wider gusset is definitely “de rigueur”.

However, in this case you’ll be relieved to know that one flanges to aid the peeling off of a glove. 

Experience shows that using a slippery, satin-gloved hand to remove another, equally slippery, satin glove is tricky. There's just no purchase. The flange, then, is what we shall henceforth call the pre-loosened and lengthened fingertip of the glove to be removed, making the job of grasping it firmly in the other hand much, much easier.

An appropriate instruction would therefore be: “Flange now, showgirls, while your back is to the audience”.

Just a small contribution to the English language. Feel free to use it with our compliments.

Yours, developing the dictionary,

Burlicious x

30 Nov 2017

A modesty gusset

Our glorious new routine to Lorde's "Royals" is a lovely piece of sass, strut, suggestion, and a bit of rolling around on the floor flashing our drawers.

Our beautiful troupe has been having a high old time clipping about in their heels, weaving in and out of each other, and, sometimes, accidentally doing the very opposite to what is required, so that a sprinkling of showgirls end up staring at the rest of the troupe face-to-face and wondering where they might have gone astray.

Next week we'll be smutting it up on the floor, waving our legs about and trying our damnedest not to look like upended beetles.

So, showgirls, perhaps not the mini-thong, next week, eh? We suggest the broader gusset and a corset with a bit of give in it.

Yours, making sure that we don't reveal our jewels,

Burlicious x

18 Nov 2017

Bijou and Burlicious

Darlings, we were a select little gathering at class this week. The upside was that it provided us with a brilliant opportunity to play with a routine, turning it around, weaving through each other, and rediscovering how much it can mess with one's head to dance the same steps in a different direction.

There'll be more of this in future classes, my lovelies.

What there'll be less of, my lovely fellow showgirls from Wednesday, is the builder's bum lacy tights with which I was struggling as we danced. I was plum tuckered out with hefting them up by the time we had finished!

Anyway, my little cherry pips, the real news is that a brand new routine starts on Wednesday 22nd. 

Consider it an early Christmas gift from we Burlicious Three.

We spoil you, we do :-).

Yours, just finalising the wrapping,

Burlicious x

1 Nov 2017

We love it when a plan comes together

As trailed last week, Showgirls, tonight's class will be your last chance for a few years to take The Other Woman for a spin around the dance floor.

Then, on the 8th and the 15th November, we're going to dance the second half of an old favourite that we haven't danced for a while. It's a sort of retro, Bluebell Girls number (sadly without the headdresses).

For those of you who want to come back to us, Weds 8th November is a good time. It's also a good opportunity for those of you who are teetering on the brink of joining us for the first time. The routine we'll be doing for the 8th and the 15th  is a great intro to some of the basic steps.

This means that, ta-daaaaaa (fanfare of trumpets, please, Maestro), we'll be launching our brand new, fresh-out-of-the-choreography-cauldron, routine on Weds 22nd November.

Trust me, we don't even know it yet, so if you fancy joining us and can't make it on the 8th November, the 22nd November is your next opportunity to start learning a new routine from scratch, secure in the knowledge that you won't be the only one who doesn't know what she's doing!

Ooooh, but we love a new routine. And this one is a little rascal of a thing!

Yours, busy delivering deliciousness,

Burlicious x

19 Oct 2017

Your next delicious instalment

A practical post, Showgirls, looking at delights to come.

Firstly - don't shimmy up for a class next Wednesday (25th October) 'cos there isn't one. We'll be loosening our laces and slipping off our stillies for half term.

The next class will be 1st November. We'll probably be finishing off The Other Woman in that class. (That sounds rather more sinister than it is, Dear Reader. "The Other Woman" is the name of our current dance routine and not the proposed victim of some sort of murderous group revenge fest.)

Here at Burlicous Towers we're choreographing like crazy. Our new routine will be ready for 8th November, but we're a Partner-in-sequins down that week and haven't decided whether to launch the new routine then or not. We'll keep you all updated re. a launch date, as we know some of you are desperate to get back to strutting your stuff with us at the first hint of a new number.

Have a lovely Burlicious-free week (as if there is such a thing) and we'll see you in a couple of weeks or soon after that for another drug-free injection of glamour; hilarity; irresponsible clothing and "feel-good" wiggling.

Yours, practising the "bum-first-chair-dismount" shuffle (you know who you are :-) ),

Burlicious x

12 Oct 2017

Dressed and undressed

We choreograph our own routines.

This involves we Burlicious Three getting together here at Burlicious Towers for hours of invention, hilarity, discovery, delight and the summary rejection of some truly sub-standard moves.

Our petite choreography space (aka "the kitchen") presents a number of challenges - a narrow space; unforgivably hard surfaces; and, typically, a rather underwhelmed cat.

To our astonishment, we seem to excel at developing beautiful, neat, elegant moves. The constant refrain between us is the call to "smut it up a bit". Ah, Dear Reader, if you could see the outtakes that that instruction produces, you would cry with laughter.

And yet, when you take our creations into class and see them danced by a galaxy of women in corsets and sequins and fishnets and heels and frilly drawers and little daft shorts and spangly tops, those moves that looked no more than pretty for three women dancing in a kitchen in slippers and jumpers suddenly look sensuous, seductive and sexy.

We're learning. "It'll look better in the outfits," we now say to each other as we design a routine. And, do you know, it bloomin' well does!

Yours, loving that sprinkling of stardust,

Burlicious x

5 Oct 2017

And once more with feeling

We teach a routine by building it up a little bit a time. We show a few steps as we talk through them; then we step it through with the troupe as we talk it through again; then we all do it together again; and then we do it to the music while we bellow instructions. We'll then do those steps a few more times before we add on the next piece of the routine.

Last night we got to a part of the routine that we Burlicious Three think of as "the little kicky legs". We've simplified it from the original car crash creation, but the timing is still a bit of a b*gger.

Having seen the troupe have their first go at it, I said to them, as I often do: "OK, we'll do that another few times."

"Meaning," says one of our experienced showgirls, "that was crap and I have no idea what you lot were doing."


Actually, to be accurate, it wasn't crap and we have no expectation that the entire troupe will get every step perfectly the first time that they dance it (no reason why you should, Showgirls, given that we often can't get it right and we create the blessed thing!). However, it was, as the first run through of a few new steps often is, entertainingly varied, creative and individual.

Ah, Showgirls, like a field of windmills, all dancing to your own personal breeze with legs going every which way, it was a proper treat to see. Of course, what you now don't notice is how perfectly you are doing the steps that were tricky for you just a week ago. You catch on fast, you lot, you really do.

Yours, bursting our corsets with pride,

Burlicious x

28 Sept 2017

It's tough at the top

Dahlings, dahlings, dahlings.... a brief moment of appreciation, please, for us showgirls and how we suffer for our art.

Our current routine includes a natty way of getting onto a chair (and a slightly less smooth dismount later on). Stand at left side of the chair; place left knee onto chair; swing right leg all the way round the front of the chair to the side and put right foot to floor; rock back onto left foot, straddling the chair seat; sit on chair seat, facing back of chair; and slide legs apart. Ta dah!

Fond though we are of our little dance venue, it falls, it must be said, a little short of the smooth shiny glamour of the proper dance studio.

Those chairs are made of a bobbly red plastic. Now, it's not unknown for us in other routines to get bruised knees or, occasionally, a splinter in the nether regions. Last night saw a new industrial injury when one of our lovely showgirls acquired a blistered knee by repeated grating of flesh on chair.

We know we make it look like we're gliding through these routines, dear readers, but the hidden reality is sweat and toil and sacrifice...

... and feathers, and ridiculously pleasing fripperies, and a proper giggle, and a beaming smile of satisfaction as we mistress step after step, and the sheer delight of seeing so many women look so bloomin' gorgeous.

Yeah, you're right, there are significant compensations.

Yours, stocking up on knee pads,

Burlicious x

16 Sept 2017

Her infinite variety

Take 15 to 20 women.

Sprinkle them lightly across the decades, representing women in their teens, their twenties, their thirties, their forties and their fifties.

Pick a range of heights.

And a range of body shapes.

And a range of colouring (natural or otherwise :-) ).

Swathe each one in her own unique and inimitable style.

And then string them together, like sparkling individual gems, along a necklace of choreography.

And, ta dah, suddenly you have a moving, breathing, coordinated and infinitely gorgeous tableau of local womanhood - all moving as one glorious celebration of the variety and loveliness of women.

It makes us blush with pride, showgirls, how lovely you can be.

Now, fan up, hand down and BOB!

Yours, craftswomen of deliciousness  and displayers of beauty,

Burlicious x

8 Sept 2017

Perfect plumage

Another delicious Burlicious term began this week with a new routine - our fan-flutteringly lovely version of, "The Other Woman".

To be fair, our rehearsal fans are a little bit, ...well, ...they're a little bit sub-optimal.

Wise as we are to the surprising amount of damage that the average Burlicious showgirl can inflict on a prop, we're using cheap fans in class. The fans are a tad on the small side and sometimes not quite as smooth on the opening and shutting as we are. Even fully open, it's a stretch of the imagination to pretend that they provide a coy modesty panel from which our showgirls can peek out temptingly.

Despite this, there is something magical in being behind the whole troupe as they flick these little fans up behind them and flutter them alluringly over the buttocks. It's colourful and exotic and like seeing the early stages of a mating dance by a bird of paradise. Minus the screeching and cawing.

You're looking fab, showgirls. Flutter yer feathers with pride!

Yours, delighted with our flock,

Burlicious x

1 Sept 2017

Step right up

Feathers, frivolity and a flippin' good giggle roll back into town next Wednesday, 6th September.

Yes, we're back to class with a very well-mannered little routine - all fan fluttering and coy glances. Not quite Pride and Prejudice, we grant you. It's perhaps more of a Slink, Stroke and Shimmy, but it's a tasteful thing, nevertheless.

Rest assured, showgirls, that this brief bit of restrained good behaviour will soon be banished when we usher in the new routine - a gem that is in the choreography workshop as we speak and one that we are currently trying to grubby up a bit.

Look forward to seeing you all next week. Whether you're a regular, a brand new test driver or a returner to the fold, you're all warmly welcome. It's a new term, the start of a fresh routine, and the very best time to come along and strut yer stuff.

Yours, doing our duty for beauty,

Burlicious x

21 Jul 2017

We prescribe Burlicious

Another dance year for Burlicious has just finished. We're freshening our feathers and sprucing up our sequins and satins ready for the launch of our next dance year in September. We're in a reflective mood.

It astonishes us that we've been going since 2009 and that we’re still bloomin’ delighted with what we do! So, what is it that we do?

We teach a weekly dance class using routines unique to us. Our style is showgirl with a touch of burlesque, but we don't strip. 

Our routines sparkle with fabulous, sexy moves and, to get into the mood, the gorgeous women that come along to class dress up in whatever makes them feel good - fishnets and heels; basques and corsets; little sequin shorts; cheeky little skirts and dresses. Every one of them finds her own style and outfit. It's an opportunity to wear the kind of "look at me" outfit that some of us haven't worn for decades and to dance some glamorous and seductive routines. How great is that?!

It's fair to say that most women are a bit nervous when they come to class for the first time as they’re not sure what to expect. However, by the end of that first class they say things like:
"I feel twenty years younger!"
"This is absolutely me!"
"What a fantastic excuse to go shopping!"
"This has been the most amazing boost to my confidence!"

So, might you enjoy our class?

If you're a woman who loves to dance and doesn't have enough opportunities to do so, this is for you. If you have a collection of slightly risque pieces of clothing that you no longer wear, here's your chance to slink into them and strut your stuff in a very safe place. If you like having a laugh with a bunch of women in a friendly and supportive environment, you'll enjoy this. If your inner showgirl is drawn to buy clothing that is more sequins and satin than staid, sensible, and suitable for the supermarket, you've found your natural place.

You don’t have to be a dancer. You don’t have to dress up. You can turn up in your gym kit and a pair of low heels. It’s all about having a laugh while dancing.

Fancy trying it out? Drop us an email at burlicious@gmail.com and we can tell you more.

Dance with Burlicious and go home on a natural high!

29 Jun 2017

Our pussycat has been well and truly pinked

Yes, our glorious, naughty, sensuous dance routine to The Del Reys' "Pink Pussycat" has finally come to an end. Entwined in their threesomes, our showgirls have made a lovely job of half-mooning; step-tapping; caressing; grinding; glove peeling; boa flourishing; and a bit of lightweight bondage.

It gladdens our corseted hearts to see a posse of showgirl bums all going smartly right then left like a pert, fleshy metronome, and then to see some fabulous "high-stepping pony" trots as the troupe swaps gloves with each other and hauls each other's boa-tied ankles apart and then shut.


So, you know what this means, you little beauties.

Yes, we'll start a fresh routine next Wednesday, 5th July. 

All you gorgeous gals who have been waiting patiently in the wings to return to class at the start of a new routine, now's your chance. We look forward to welcoming you back to our feathery nest of frivolity and frippery next week!

Yours, ready for the next dancing delight,

Burlicious x

15 Jun 2017

Spank and make up

There is such a thing as too much enthusiasm in a showgirl sometimes.

One of the last moves in our current routine has a showgirl, her rear to the audience and flanked either side by a sister in sequins, lean over veeeery slowly away from the audience with a flat back, presenting a view of legs and buttocks (all properly clad, you understand) to the audience.

Her stern taskmistresses on either side then deliver a playful spank with an evening glove to her buttocks.

I say "playful". Sometimes around the room we hear a positive whip crack of a belting land on the bent-over showgirl, accompanied by a little squeak of surprise.

When we're drilling the troupe for a performance, we often say to them: "make a meal of this move. Make it bigger. Make sure the audience can see what you're doing." In this instance, we might need to adjust that to something more like: "do remember that she needs to be able to walk away afterwards, eh? And don't leave flesh wounds."

Yours, dancing with a group of bee-yoo-tiful bruisers,

Burlicious x

8 Jun 2017

Practice makes perfect

Our current routine is long.

It's also the most intricate one that we have ever designed.

It's also instrumental, so there are no vocal hooks in it anywhere to help our showgirls to know what comes next.

And there are three different roles or parts - we're not all doing the same thing all the way through the routine.

It's our most challenging routine to date and it has taken us a number of weeks to teach it.

Last night we taught the end and then returned to the beginning. Now, it has been weeks since we last danced the beginning. Did our showgirls falter? Not a bit of it. It took no more than a couple of runs through to remind them how the first couple of minutes go, and then away they went in fine fettle.

So, showgirls, here's some feedback. It isn't just you. This genuinely IS a tricky routine! However, we can see that you're picking stuff up more quickly than you once did. And, once you've got something, you really have got it. The routine is looking superb.

And we love it when you humour us with moves like the glove spank - your little faces when we first demonstrate are a picture, and then you gamely give it your all. :-)

Here's to a cracking night next week dancing this tricky little beauty all the way through for the very first time. 

Yours, very very happy with how this is coming together,

Burlicious x

25 May 2017

Blue rinse burlesque

The Sparkly Bra Pixie nipped into the loos last night to change into her showgirl finery as usual. Only, this time, she came out sporting a surprise accessory.

Whilst washing her hands, she pressed down enthusiastically on the pump of the Carex liquid soap bottle and managed to squirt bright blue gel all over the front of her drawers.

Oh, the harmless fun we then had inventing potential new names for the troupe, such as The Foaming Fanny Follies and other soap bubble-themed names.

This gentle source of amusement was only topped later in the class by one of our showgirls who, on the command "trot!", proceeded to gallop gamely across the floor as if she were on a particularly lively hobby horse. It was an equestrian triumph and we're thinking of entering her for a dressage event.

Somehow we also managed to get a bit of dancing done.

Looking forward to seeing you all frolicking in yer frillies after half-term, Showgirls!

Yours, frothing at the bit,

Burlicious x

18 May 2017

Hot and bothered... but still delicious

We're teaching the fabulous part in our routine where one showgirl in every three is on her back on the floor, legs straight up, and being tied up by the ankles with the boas of the other two. With great drama, the standing showgirls then make a meal of dragging apart the legs of the tethered showgirl.

In all modesty, it's a genius bit of choreography.

But it also means that one showgirl in every trio has to get down on the floor and then back up again gracefully. Again. And again. And again as we practise getting the steps right.

There's so much going on with the other two showgirls in the trio as they trot about, tying then releasing the legs, and deftly swapping boas as they do so, that the prone showgirl can become a bit, well a bit distracted. This results in showgirls just remaining flat out on the floor then popping up out of sequence in a bit of a hurry as and when they remember what they should be doing. 

To be fair, it was a rather humid night last night and it was quite cooling for us prone showgirls to stretch out on the cold floor for a bit and watch the others do their thing. Of course the payback for that little treat comes in the requirement to stand up fluidly, gracefully and swiftly, rather than looking as if one is resurfacing after an unfortunate tumble off one's heels and into the gutter.

This bit will be gorgeous by next week, you mark our words. :-)

Yours, loving the glamour,

Burlicious x

27 Apr 2017

Pink Pussycat

This fabulous, blowsy, raunchy instrumental number by The Del Reys is our current theme tune. Last night, we got the troupe to the stage where an evening glove, concealed in one hand at the cleavage, is pulled out of the hand in a series of magician-like teeny spurts, before fountaining up and out of the hand and onto the floor in, er, well, in a climax.


Demonstrating the move, the Voluptuous Jules (who wants to be a cat and who real cats treat as if she were part of their feline family) likens the small forward convulsions that accompany this four-part glove reveal to the preparatory stages of a cat coughing up a hairball.

"Hmm," says the Sparkly Bra Pixie thoughtfully, "probably not the kind of pussy that the audience has in mind."

Yours, with the tone so low that it's skimming our stilettos,

Burlicious x

20 Apr 2017

All together now!

"So what we would like," we say to our lovely troupe when we have demonstrated the next move to them, "is if you could all do that at exactly the same time."

Cue looks of disbelief and peals of showgirl laughter.

The move in question is a grind - a circle of the hips anti-clockwise while one heel is lifted. At this stage in the routine, the troupe is arranged in groups of three, each group in a little line, each showgirl close to the next showgirl in her line.

Sounds simple, no?

Ah, but the grind is a very personal thing. Some start it by taking the hips side and back before circling around to the front. Some start side and front before circling to the back. Some have a little flick of emphasis on one hip and not the other. Some go round at Warp Factor 9, lapping their fellow showgirls in no time. It's a recipe for a line of hips and bums, all going at different speeds in different directions and looking every bit as coordinated as a collection of ferrets fighting in a bag.

The only solution, stalker-like, is to fix one's gaze firmly on the hips of the woman in front and to try to mirror exactly the direction, style and speed of her grind. It's a lot harder than it looks!

These simple mental challenges make a class with Burlicious a workout for the body and brain as well as being a treat for the soul.

Yours, looking at our own hips in a new light,

Burlicious x

12 Apr 2017

And relax

Have a fabulous Easter, showgirls! We'll be back in our feathers, corsets and spangly drawers next Wednesday, 19th April.

Until then, take the weight off yer stilettos; ease out yer corset ribbons; and leave those silky evening gloves in the drawer. You are officially stood down. :-)

Yours, temporarily dialling down the glamour,

Burlicious x

30 Mar 2017

Protecting one's modesty

It's a snazzy move - a turn on the spot to face the front, right hand loosely over the fanny, left hand behind the back, followed by a series of head turns, showgirl to showgirl.

Having run through this for the first time with the troupe last night, we turned around to check how things were going and saw about half of them still standing there, frozen in position, hand clutching fanny, waiting for the next instruction.

It was like watching a little row of cats washing. Do you know what we mean? Wash, wash, wash, wash, then the cat forgets what it's doing and sits there vacant, tongue still out and leg up in the air, in perfect suspended animation. Last night's freeze frame was somewhere between that and a full-on, Michael-Jackson-grabs-his-groin-and-refuses-to-release-it moment.

We've talked about keeping yer hand on yer ha'penny before. Last night was a grimly determined version of that idea, with a line of showgirl hands firmly poised and ready to repel all boarders.

Laugh? We nearly popped our poppers and burst our corset ribbons. Honestly, the dancing is a workout. The laughter, though, that's the full muscle thrashing for face and belly.
Yours, loving you for being hilarious and brilliant as always, showgirls,

Burlicious x

17 Mar 2017

Ooooh, that tickles!

We love, love, love our new routine. It's big-headed of us, we know, but it's hard to get across the sheer joy to be had in seeing moves that you have literally sweated over in the design phase given flesh by our fabulous showgirls.

One move has a showgirl, back to the audience, legs astride, bending over at the waist while the two showgirls who flank her take their hand down then up the back of her legs.

Cue feminine tittering behind us at the first test drive of this little bit of routine. Turning round, we discover one of our showgirls, all pink and giggly, squirming and laughing at how ticklish it was when her partners in sequins did this to her.

Now, we sometimes partner up showgirls by height. For performance, we have sometimes arranged them on stage by height and colouring.

We have never had to take into consideration before how ticklish they may be.

Is this what the proper choreographers do?

Yours, delighted to produce a giggle,

Burlicious x

9 Mar 2017

A pinny for your thoughts

We launched our new routine to stunned silence last night (we're still working out what that means :-) ). It includes a new move where we turn slowly round, bringing the hands down from the back of the neck, through the cleavage, under the breasts, and then gently down the sides of the body. It's a gentle caress, drawing attention to some beautifully corseted assets.

Some of our fabulous showgirls found themselves so busy concentrating on the footwork that they forgot to keep moving the hands, meaning that, by the time they faced forwards again, they were cupping their breasts possessively as if getting ready to juggle them. It's a look, but one rather more suggestive of the male comedians in drag of yesteryear, propping up their imaginary tits on the garden fence whilst having a chat with a neighbour.

We're a breath away from a practical pinny, a hairnet, and carpet slippers at times.

Actually, we take that back. Slippers form an integral part of our choreography uniform ,and very endearing they look too.

If you missed last night, showgirls, don't despair. We have a number of known absentees so we'll repeat the beginning next week. Trust us, you'll love it.

Yours, channeling charlady burlesque,

Burlicious x

2 Mar 2017

Brassy beauty

It'll be a hot afternoon down the choreography mine at Burlicious Towers today. We Burlicious Three are putting the final touches to our new routine. The music is a glorious piece of sexy sax, definite drums and a temptation of trumpets.

And the routine?

All modesty aside, we think it's beautiful. Our Props Manager says that it's our loudest routine yet, but he's just referring to the amount of laughter issuing forth as we designed it. We think it's great - we've invented new moves, including some utterly delicious business with a boa and a glove.

So, showgirls, if you fancy coming to play with us, we'll be launching it next Wednesday, 8th March. We might even know the routine ourselves by then :-). As usual, we'll take the beginning nice and slow, So, if you can't make next week, don't panic - we'll make sure you catch up the week after.

Looking forward to seeing you for a brand new Burlicious adventure.

Yours, lining up for lusciousness,

Burlicious x

23 Feb 2017

A spanking finale

We cruised delectably to the last steps of our current routine last night. This includes the "spank self lightly with glove" move so loved by audiences over the years.

And it's more difficult than it looks, somehow. Although the right buttock is not at that time a moving target, and although it is not exactly a teeny target either, a direct hit on the buttock is a surprisingly rare occurrence. Instead there are little flails of glove just past the buttock, dedicated whipping of thin air; and unintended thrashings of thigh. Still, it does look lovely.

See you next week, showgirls, for an opportunity just to dance and dance and dance this one. It's one we use a lot for performances so it's worth knowing it well if you do want to strut your gorgeous stuff in public. Then we'll start something new on Weds 8th March.

In the meantime, we'll be choreographing like crazy this afternoon. Cue shrieks of laughter, feathers everywhere and our Props Manager with his headphones firmly on so as to shut out the racket.

Yours, busy crafting new beauty from hilarious beginnings,

Burlicious x

12 Feb 2017

A short break for refreshment

Somehow we have shimmied, sashayed and slid our way into half term and a week's break from class. That doesn't mean that all is quiet at Burlicious Towers, though - far from it.

The regular restocking of Burlicious consumables is in hand.

We're plaiting together the worst of our tired old boas so that they can be used for a little longer in class. The poor things take a surprising thrashing week after week in our dainty little gloved hands and become positively threadbare.

A  giNORmous box of new boas has just arrived along with new evening gloves for class. Box after box of bright feathers awaits our showgirls when we return to class on Wednesday 22nd.

And, most important of all, the choreography elves are hard at work on our next routine. It's all sax (yes, that was "sax" with an "a") and trumpet and serious punchy beats. We're on a mission to create something alluring and seductive and knowing. And we're not averse to just smutting it up a bit here and there either.

If you could see behind the scenes to our production line of deliciousness, you would smile with pleasure.

Yours, slaving down the seduction mines for your pleasure,

Burlicious x

2 Feb 2017

A ha'penny for your thoughts

We love a suggestive, mildly salacious dance routine.

We also strive - because we are laydees - for a veil of decorum in our class. Although it must be said that I am the showgirl most likely to let us down on this score.

Noticing that some showgirls were going for a vague stroke of the hips instead of an enthusiastic slide of hands over the groin last night, the Sparkly Bra Pixie halted proceedings to explain that what we were after was a full-on "hands to fanny" move.

This prompted some discussion about what instruction I should give when we reached that point in the routine. "Ha'penny" and "Lady Garden" were jokingly suggested and immediately rejected as having too many syllables. "Minge" was then helpfully put forward as the shorter option.

I have to tell you that shouting "MINGE!!" as an instruction to a group of delectable showgirls as they wriggle deliciously from side to side feels, well, shall we say it feels just a teeny bit unrefined?

Mind you, it did generate an appreciative round of laughter, which is something that we love about our class.

Yours, regretfully unlikely to be invited to the Debutantes' Ball,

Burlicious x

26 Jan 2017

More than the sum of our parts

Twelve showgirls, with pinpoint accuracy, each hold out their full length boa in an outstretched arm and then - as one - they drop it.

Twelve rivers of feathered colour fall to the floor simultaneously.

A few beats later, and twelve gorgeous behinds go right, left, right, left in perfect synchrony.

If we throw modesty to one side for the minute, it's fair to say that we Burlicious Three are pretty good at what we do. However, multiply that fourfold so that the same moves are performed by the whole troupe, and what we have created becomes magical. One of the greatest joys of running our class is the opportunity to step back sometimes and watch the whole troupe doing something with precision timing. It's beautiful.

Now, if we can just mistress that boa routine without strangling ourselves, that will look gorgeous too!

Yours, enjoying female beauty in motion,

Burlicious x

20 Jan 2017

Stern task mistresses

Dahlings, dahlings, another beautiful routine canters to a triumphant close. This week we tackled the floor routine in Big Bad Handsome Man. What a hoot!

Hip sways, crawling, the flat-on-the-back "dead doll" pose, and then a fluid ascent from that into the seated final pose.

Of course, while the showgirls are flat on their back, they can't see any of we Burlicious Three to follow. This means that instructions need to be bellowed: " leg IN, UP, lower and SIT!", we shout.

As we scrambled back up to our feet after the first run through, one of our showgirls asked disbelievingly: "was there a SIT! in there?"

It's true that this was perhaps a little bit more Barbara Woodhouse and her dog training school than it was Les Folies Bergeres. Still, it got the job done.
Next week, my lovelies, we shall start teaching the next routine. We'll be smouldering about to a bit of Nasty Naughty Boy - a tried and tested crowd pleaser.

Yours, upping the sultriness count,

Burlicious x

12 Jan 2017

Kneel down and see our etchings

At class last night we were looking for an alternative way to explain a foundation move - the grind. It's a gentle raunch of a thing, made by taking the legs apart a tad, bending the knees slightly (and we mean "slightly" so as to avoid the whole bandy-legged cowboy look), and taking the hips round and round in a smooth circle - side forward side back, side forward side back and so on.

"Well," says the Sparkly Bra Pixie, "think of it as if someone had stuck a pencil up your *^$!*, and you were drawing circles on the floor."

Various showgirls were giggling at the idea of doing just that and then going home to their other half to demonstrate what they had learnt that evening.

"Come here, and watch me write to you," one suggested saying to her partner.

"Ah," we said, " but what you'll write will just be "ooooooo"."

Which actually, we all agreed, would be appropriate.

We're going to need some very long pencils :-)

Yours, enhancing skills wherever we go,

Burlicious x

5 Jan 2017

Welcome back to the beautiful bazooom of Burlicious

Yes, we're back. And, as promised, we have a simple little bounce of a routine to smooth us back into our weekly class. It's a jaunt of a thing - all perky and tail-swishy - and it has always made us smile.

Yes, some items of clothing may have become a little bit more snug during our Christmas absence.

And, yes, the thought of taking off our woolly jumpers at the start of class and skipping about in our fripperies may be a bit less enticing than it was in the sultry summer evenings.

But, oh, it's nice to be back with our lovely showgirls, a boa-twirling daftness of a routine, and the chance to dress up and act up.

Yours, twirling those boas like old hands,

Burlicious x




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