It's tough at the top

Dahlings, dahlings, dahlings.... a brief moment of appreciation, please, for us showgirls and how we suffer for our art.

Our current routine includes a natty way of getting onto a chair (and a slightly less smooth dismount later on). Stand at left side of the chair; place left knee onto chair; swing right leg all the way round the front of the chair to the side and put right foot to floor; rock back onto left foot, straddling the chair seat; sit on chair seat, facing back of chair; and slide legs apart. Ta dah!

Fond though we are of our little dance venue, it falls, it must be said, a little short of the smooth shiny glamour of the proper dance studio.

Those chairs are made of a bobbly red plastic. Now, it's not unknown for us in other routines to get bruised knees or, occasionally, a splinter in the nether regions. Last night saw a new industrial injury when one of our lovely showgirls acquired a blistered knee by repeated grating of flesh on chair.

We know we make it look like we're gliding through these routines, dear readers, but the hidden reality is sweat and toil and sacrifice...

... and feathers, and ridiculously pleasing fripperies, and a proper giggle, and a beaming smile of satisfaction as we mistress step after step, and the sheer delight of seeing so many women look so bloomin' gorgeous.

Yeah, you're right, there are significant compensations.

Yours, stocking up on knee pads,

Burlicious x