Wait for it...

Our current sly wink of a routine is sprinkled with penis jokes. Please do not switch off in disgust - we promise you that it sounds much worse than it is.

As part of this sprinkling we have a couple of witticisms about the size of, er, male tackle. Don't worry, chaps, it's all done in the best possible taste and no, we repeat what you've doubtless been told before, size isn't everything. Then we have a swift boa erection at the groin, punctuated by a very definite beat in the music.

We tried that for the first time last night and had a positive Mexican wave of boas leaping up at the groin at different times as our showgirls varied between premature excitement, late rising, and - for the most quiveringly uncertain - a halting up down up down movement. Boa erections went off independently all over the shop like jumping beans on a hotplate. We couldn't have choreographed the effect if we had tried.

All together now: "... as long as he keeps himself in shape... da da da da da UP!"

Next week, ladies, it'll be hands on yer ha'penny (in the immortal words of one showgirl) as we roar deliciously through the end of the routine.

Yours, loving the individuality,

Burlicious x