21 Jul 2016

And a new exercise craze is born

OK, so it was hot and humid last night, very hot and humid. Knowing that none of the troupe needed to warm up, we decided to do some slow stretches instead. The Sparkly Bra Pixie settled each of us down on a chair and started taking us through some yogic leg moves.

Now, picture the scene. It's hot. We're all sitting in a circle, in our drawers, wearing the minimum possible. As we hitch one leg over the opposite knee and generally wave our legs around, one of our lovely troupe says: "ooooh, it's like slutty yoga!".

I regret to tell you, Dear Reader, that it all went a tad downhill from there for the rest of this steamy and slippery class.

Demonstrating to the troupe a leg move borrowed from tango, in which we slide the sole of the left shoe swiftly along the floor and flick the foot up behind us so we're then looking at that sole, I was inspired by the lowered tone of the evening to suggest that the move is like stepping in dog sh*t. First we lift the foot to the right to check the underside of the shoe. Then we put the foot back down, decide it probably isn't clean, then sweep the sole up quickly to the left of us so that we can see it from a different angle. Finally, we wipe the sole of that same shoe on the leg of the chair, then scrape it along the floor for a bit, and then walk off.

It seemed to work.

Henceforth, this rather lovely move will be known by us as the dog sh*t flick kick.

I tell you, we're class, pure class.

Yours, with sparkling clean soles,

Burlicious x


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